Chapter Five

18 September 2008 — Earth: SGC — 10:10 hours

 

Jack paced back and forth in General Landry’s office.  The door opened and Dr. Lam walked in with Hank right behind her.

 

“Jack…,” Landry acknowledged him, “what’s on your mind?”

 

“It’s been almost a week since we’ve visited the Nox and still no word about this new race.  When I’ve tried to get a hold of the little buggers, the ‘gate won’t lock and it’s really pissing me off!  Daniel is withdrawn and depressed.  It seems only Vala can get him to talk and even then it’s only monosyllabic words.  God damn it!!  He’s a linguist… words are his thing.”

 

Dr. Lam nodded her head in agreement, “I was able to get him in a wheelchair to take him topside to for some fresh air.  He grumbled the whole way, and we ended up not staying outside for long.”

 

“Daniel,” Jack said in a tone of frustration.  “I’ve never known a bigger pain in the ass— but still… I would die for that boy.”

 

General Landry and Dr. Lam both concurred.

 

“That’s why you’ve requested a leave of absence from your duties in Washington.  To stay close by, right, Jack?”

 

Jack nodded and resumed his pacing.

 

Dr. Lam sat down and pulled a folder out to show the men, “These are the latest x-rays and MRI’s on Dr. Jackson’s legs.  The nerves that run down his legs are crushed and some even severed.  Although I know a doctor that may be able to reattach them… I don’t believe it would help very much.  There really isn’t a great deal of hope for his walking again.  Perhaps with braces he might regain some movement.”

 

O’Neill dropped his head and leaned it against the wall, waiting for the other shoe to drop, “I sense there’s a but in there you’re not telling us, Doc.”

 

Shifting a little, she looked over to her father.  He nodded once and settled in his chair.

 

“Daniel’s healing well in his upper body, but as you know, his mental state is deteriorating and it’s not helping.”

 

Looking over to Dr. Lam, Jack asked, “Is there anything else we can do?  Any new… I don’t know, experiments or something?”

 

Carolyn shook her head, “He’s very lucky that his back wasn’t broken.  He would have been paralyzed for sure.  Still, if his mind isn’t in this, there isn’t much more I can do.  Daniel does have a habit of surprising people, however.”

 

Jack turned and kicked the wall causing Hank and Carolyn jumped.

 

“Why isn’t he fighting this?” Jack asked the wall.

 

“Maybe this is just the breaking point for Dr. Jackson, he’s been through so much, and he’s not getting any younger.  Maybe I could give a better you a better prognosis if this happened say… ten years ago.” Dr. Lam paused.  “But there is another option.  I could amputate both legs around the mid thigh and fit him with prosthetics.”

 

“NO, WAY!” Jack stated flatly.

 

“General O’Neill,” Hank said as he stood up.  “That would be a decision Dr. Jackson would have to make.  Not you.”

 

Jack bowed his head in grudging acquiescence, “Let me talk to him about it.  I know how to handle him when he gets pissy.  Plus… he is my best friend.”

 

Hank nodded, “Why don’t you take all of SG-1 with you, Jack.  You guys are more family than teammates.”

 

O’Neill nodded and left the office.  Carolyn looked at her father and asked, “Do you think Daniel will agree to amputation?”

 

Hank sat back down in his chair and rubbed a hand over his face, “I don’t know, Carolyn.  I’m used to dealing with soldiers, not civilians.”

 

***

 

18 September 2008 — Earth: SGC — 11:30 hours

 

Jack called Sam, Mitchell, Vala and Teal’c to meet him in Carter’s lab.  As soon as he walked in and closed the door, his former teammates knew something was wrong.

 

“What’s up, sir?” Sam asked.

 

Jack walked over to her desk and leaned heavily on it, “This is not a conversation I really want to be having, but… the Nox haven’t been in touch with us going on a week now.  I just came from Landry’s office where Dr. Lam explained what was in store for Daniel.”

 

He paused, letting his thought gather, “He’s never gonna walk again.  Maybe with leg braces, but she doesn’t hold out too much for that to work.  Or there is another possibility, but it’s far more drastic.”

 

Sam sat down on her stool and reached for Vala’s hand.  It was quiet for a long time.  Finally, he looked at his friends and sighed.

 

“Dr. Lam is talking about taking both of Daniel’s legs off, then fitting him with prosthetics.”

 

“No!” Sam and Vala gasped.

 

Teal’c cocked his head to one side and asked, “Would he be able to walk again with these prosthetics?”

 

Jack sighed and nodded, “Yeah… but he would never be able to go through the ‘gate again.  Never be on SG-1.”

 

Again, there was silence.

 

“It is his decision, of course, but I thought it would be best if it were us that offered it to him,” Jack told them and they all agreed.

 

“When do you want to… see him, Jack?” Vala asked, her voice solemn.

 

“The sooner, the better I figure. Give him some time to think about it and maybe the Nox will come through in the mean time.”

 

They set off to go see Daniel.  It seemed like the longest walk any of them ever had inside the mountain.  When they reached Daniel’s room, they filed in, grabbed chairs and sat around their friend.  Vala sat next to him on the bed.

 

“Hey guys,” Daniel barely looked at them.

 

Sam had to muster all of her military training to get through this conversation.  Teal’c was stoic as always.  Cam just looked around, anywhere but at Jackson.  Jack began to play with some of the tubes that Daniel was hooked up too, and Vala held his hand.

 

“We have to talk, Daniel,” he said more quietly than any of them had heard before.

 

Daniel moved to sit up a little more and grimaced in pain.  Once he settled into a comfortable position, he asked them, “What about?”

 

“Well…” Jack began, “it’s about you, Danny boy.”

 

“Oh?” Daniel raised his eyebrows a bit.

 

“Yeah,” Jack said as he got up and started pacing.

 

Daniel watched him for a moment, then looked at the others.  With a sigh, he closed his eyes, “Just spill it, Jack.”

 

O’Neill stopped walking and turned to face him.  Vala squeezed Daniel’s hand tightly.  He opened his eyes and focused on Jack.

 

“Dr. Lam believes that you will never walk again.  Maybe you could with braces, but probably not.”

 

“Oh, okay… The Nox can’t help?”

 

“They haven’t gotten back to us yet, Daniel,” Sam told him.

 

That was it then… his last chance.  He couldn’t stop feeling that his life was just a cosmic joke.  All he amounted to was being a personal punching bag for the pantheon of gods.

 

His teammates saw a darkness overcome him and it broke their hearts.  Daniel was the soul of SG-1… of the SGC as a whole.  To see him lose his spirit this way, made them all feel a little less alive.

 

“The Doc has another idea but it’s really drastic,” Mitchell said into the quiet of the room.

 

“And what would that be?” Daniel murmured to his blankets and not his friends.

 

Bowing his head and messing with the I.V. stand, Jack sighed, “Double amputation.”

 

The silence was deafening.  Vala watched as Daniel swallowed hard and closed his eyes.  At first she could see anger flash a crossed his face.  Then the tears in the corner of his eyes.  He scrunched up his face in anguish and sobbed, taking his good hand from Vala to hide behind it.

 

“No…” he whimpered softly.  “No…”

 

Vala began to pet his head trying to comfort him.  “Daniel… darling, you don’t have to decide right this minute,” she said, holding onto the last bit of control in her voice.

 

Another muffled sob was her only answer.  It was quiet again.  No one knew what to say or think.  Daniel gently took Vala’s hand.  Looking at each of his friends in turn, they saw the resolution come over his face.

 

“Well, this is me we’re talking about, SNAFU comes to mind,” he rubbed a hand over his face, trying to dry the tears.  “I’ll do it.”

 

“Daniel,” Jack waited for him to look him in the eye, “this is huge.  Why don’t you think about it for a couple of days first?”

 

Shaking his head, he answered, “No, Jack.  If Dr. Lam believes it would be the best way for me to walk again, then…” he shrugged and paused for a moment to make sure his voice wouldn’t fail him.  “My parents were crushed to death in front of my eyes.  I would give anything in this universe if they could have lived and just lost a couple of limbs.  At least I would’ve had them with me.  Now, I was almost crushed to death, just like them.  But, I’m alive— and I have people around me that care enough to want me to stay that way.  My mind is fine and… I can still be a part of the SGC… Right?”

 

There was a moment of silence.  That was more words than any of them had heard from him in a long time.

 

“And you have me.  Daniel, I will stay by your side as long as you let me.  I’m in this for the long haul.”

 

All the other teammates nodded at Vala’s statement.  She placed her hand on his cheek, wiping his tears with her thumb.  “I am with you no matter if you have legs, arms, can walk or can’t, Daniel, I am yours,” her eyes blazed with such love, Daniel was dumbstruck.

 

“I’ll let the Doc know of your decision, Daniel.  But I’m going to ask that you wait… for a little while, just to see if we get some word from the Nox.  Even if I have to commandeer a ship and go there again to get it.  Deal?” Jack said.

 

Daniel looked up into Vala’s face.  She smiled sweetly at him and nodded.

 

“Alright.  But I’d rather get it over with sooner than later.  Don’t want to think to hard about it.  If we don’t get an answer from them by the end of next week… I want to go through with the amputation.”

 

Everyone agreed this was the best plan, as far as plans go for cutting someone’s legs off went.

 

***

 

25 September 2008 — Earth: SGC — 19:10 hours

 

The week passed in slow motion for some and as fast as lightning for others.  Jack tried to contact the Nox every day, but to no avail.  The last day before Daniel’s scheduled surgery had come and gone without a word.

 

Dr. Lam began prepping him for the amputation in the morning.  Vala was trying to be supportive, but fatigue and frustration were wearing her down.  Sam took her home for the evening just so Daniel would get the rest he needed.  And she felt Vala needed some time away from the whole situation.  They sat together at Sam’s kitchen table and ate carryout in silence.  Vala was a million miles away.  Sam was also lost in wondering what was going to become of her friend.  She had known plenty of soldiers that had lost limbs in battle.  Most were never the same again afterward.

 

Daniel wasn’t a soldier, though, so she wasn’t sure how he would be once his legs were gone.  He had gone through radiation poisoning, died multiple times, but this seemed to hit him even harder.  Maybe it was because of the similarities of this accident and his parents’ death.

 

“Samantha…,” Vala’s voice broke through her thoughts.

 

“Hmmm?”

 

“Will Daniel be able to make it through this?  I mean, do you think that he will… you know, be okay?”

 

Sam was quiet for some time before she answered her friend, “I don’t know, Vala.  He seems so… distant now.  I’ve never seen him like this.  I don’t know if it’s because of the amputation or because the Nox never came through— or maybe it’s just one too many catastrophes for him to handle.”

 

“Do you think that he feels like he’s letting us down?  Or… maybe he believes we’ve let him down?”

 

It had never crossed Sam’s mind that he would think they’d let him down.  It just didn’t seem like Daniel.

 

“No, he would never think that.  It’s just such terrible timing.  I think that he’s just starting to let you touch his heart and he’s angry that it’s happened now.”

 

“But I don’t care if he has legs or can walk, I just want him,” Vala stated firmly.

 

Sam scooted over to her and wrapped her arms around her friend, “I know, Vala, I know.  I’m sure deep down he knows too.  You just have to keep encouraging him.  Let him know everything you feel.  Daniel is good at hiding from himself.  Too good, really.  You need to be sincere and honest.  That’s what will get through to him… to his heart.”

 

Vala smiled back at Sam and took a deep breath, “I’ve always relied solely on myself, believing that everyone had an angle and only thought of themselves.  It was hard not too after everything.  I mean, come on, I’ve been a host to a megalomaniacal parasite, a pirate, and… you’ve met my father.”

 

Sam had to laugh at the memory of Vala’s Father.  He was definitely a character.

 

“Actually, Vala, you and Daniel are quite a bit alike if you think about it.  Troubled childhoods, Goa’uld taking the things that were important to you.  Always having to fight for what you believe.”

 

Vala nodded at each point, “I just don’t know if I’m…  ready for something serious.  I do love him.  More than I actually thought I was capable.  Still… I’d almost rather face a hoard of System Lords then examine my feelings.”

 

Sam smiled, “I think he would too, Vala.  He’s a person of deep, passionate feelings, but not regarding his own heart.”

 

“I guess we were really made for each other then, huh?”

 

“You just have to love him unconditionally.  I guarantee that he will do the same for you.”

 

The rest of the night passed in worried silence.  Both women absorbed in their own thoughts and emotions.

 

***

 

26 September 2008 — Earth: SGC — 07:00 hours

 

The next morning everyone gathered in Daniel’s room.  Words of encouragement softly spoken as he waited for surgery.

 

Vala sat on his bed and held his hand tightly.  She was trying very hard to be stoic.  After a while, everyone left the two of them alone.

 

“Hey,” Daniel said quietly to her, “how you doing?”

 

“I’m fine,” she lied.

 

“That’s my line.  You don’t have to stay if you don’t want too, Vala.”

 

“I do want to, darling.  I was thinking about reading more of your story while we wait,” she said as she inclined closer to him.

 

“Ah, yes.  I’m not sure if we have enough time right now.  Maybe sometime after the surgery, okay?”

 

“Promise?”

 

Nodding his head and giving her a small smile, he reached up to tuck her hair behind an ear.  “I guess so… it gets better too,” he teased.

 

Vala placed her hand on his scarred cheek.  He tilted his head into the caress and sighed.  She bent forward and gently kissed him.  When she started to sit up, Daniel pulled her back down to him.  Their lips touched briefly, then he traced her lower lip with his tongue.  She covered his mouth with hers and tongues danced together intimately.  Vala broke away from him and smiled sadly.

 

“Please don’t die, Daniel,” she said in a voice he almost couldn’t hear.

 

“I won’t, Vala.  Carolyn is excellent at what she does and this Dr. Harris guy she’s brought in is one of the best.  They’ll keep me alive.”

 

Vala touched the scar again with light fingers, “It really does make you look roughish, darling.”

 

***

 

26 September 2008 — Earth: SGC — 08:00 hours

 

Dr. Lam had Vala ushered out by Sam to the waiting room.  General O’Neill had come back in to stay with his friend at Daniel’s request. When the nurses left with Dr. Lam, he looked over to Jack.

 

“I’m scared, Jack,” he whispered.

 

“I know, Danny.  But it will be okay.  We’re all here for you.  And I know that there isn’t a soul in this mountain that won’t help you out in any way they can.”

 

Daniel closed his eyes, “I’m going to miss going through the Stargate.  I didn’t think it would hit me so hard.”

 

“Well… you’ve been doing it for over twelve years.  I miss it too.  And who knows, for you— they may make an exception to the rule.”

 

Dr. Lam came back in, “It’s time, gentlemen.”

 

“Jack, please look after Vala for me.”

 

O’Neill smiled at him, “Sure, Danny.  Just until you recover a little.”

 

As the orderlies began to push Daniel’s stretcher to the operating room, he looked over to the Doctor.

 

“Hey, Carolyn.  You think when I get fitted with the new legs I could be taller than Jack?” he smiled.

 

“I’ll see what I can do, Daniel.”

 

“Oh, no!” O’Neill chimed in.  “He stays the same height.”

 

They all had a tight laugh at that, then Daniel’s sedative kicked in and he closed his eyes.  With a deep breath, he surrendered to his future.

 

***

 

26 September 2008 — Earth: SGC — 09:50 hours

 

It was going on two hours that Daniel was under the knife.  As the team anxiously awaited, they each attempted to distract themselves.  Sam tinkered with one of her projects.  Cam worked on reports but didn’t seem to be getting much done.  He went to join Teal’c in the gym.  Together they worked on an exercise routine for Daniel.  Vala was curled in a corner of her room thinking of everything that had gone on in her life since meeting Daniel.  And Jack was pacing the briefing room playing with his yo-yo.

 

He stopped suddenly when he heard the ‘gate start to turn.  A moment later, Walter’s voice blared through the comm.-system.  “Unscheduled off-world activation.”

 

Jack rushed down the stairs into the control room and stepped up to the window, glancing at the little technician that always seemed to be there.

 

“What’s going on, Walter?”

 

“Receiving IDC code now, sir.  It’s the Nox.”

 

“Outstanding!” Jack replied sarcastically, “What timing!  Open the iris.”

 

Jack took off down the steps to the ‘gateroom.  As he entered, the Nox emerged from the event horizon.  It was Lya and Nafrayu.  They met O’Neill at the bottom of the ramp.

 

“Nice of you guys to drop by,” Jack said in his most annoyed voice.  “A little late…”

 

Lya inclined her head to him, nonplused.

 

“We are sorry for our delay.  The beings we communicated with on your behalf do not understand time the way you do.”

 

Jack just smirked, “Yeah, well, it is a little late now.  Daniel is in surgery too—”

 

“Remove his legs,” Lya finished for him.

 

Eyebrows drew together, Jack gave her a suspicious look, “And how exactly do you know that?”

 

“We were told by the Tuatha Dé Danann that Daniel had to be at his darkest before he could actually be healed.  He needed to surrender completely to his fate,” Nafrayu said.

 

“The Tuatha were amenable to our request.  They said they have known of Daniel for a long time,” Lya said as they walked to the briefing room.

 

Jack was still infuriated as they all sat down at the table.  “So how do these… Tooth De Danny guys know about Daniel?” he looked at them accusingly.

 

“They know a great deal about Daniel Jackson, they even knew of his ascension.  The Alterans keep in contact with the Tuatha.  Even though they are a secretive race, they do keep track of others that are rapidly advancing in their maturity. They could have been a part of the Four Races, but declined.  They truly do not like venturing beyond their own realm,” Lya told him.

 

Just then, General Landry and the rest of SG-1 minus Vala came in and sat down.  The look on Jack’s face indicated that the news wasn’t all that good.

 

“I haven’t met you before,” Hank said to the Nox, “I’m General Landry.”

 

Both Nafrayu and Lya nodded at him in greeting.

 

“So, what’s the report about assistance for Dr. Jackson?” he asked them coolly.

 

Nafrayu eyed him for a moment then said, “The Tuatha Dé Danann are willing to meet with Daniel, but they have some… stipulations about how.”

 

With barely restrained anger, he asked, “Like… he had to have his legs cut off first?”

 

“In part, yes,” Lya replied.

 

“This is ridiculous!” exclaimed Jack as he slammed his fist down on the table.  Both of the Nox jumped slightly and Teal’c put a calming hand on O’Neill’s shoulder.

 

“Let them speak, O’Neill.”

 

Jack shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose, “Okay, okay.  So what else do they want?”

 

“Daniel has to see them alone.  No one from this realm may come with him,” Lya reported.  “And he may not reveal anything he sees or hears while there unless they give him permission.”

 

Jack stood up and leaned onto the table, “No way in HELL is Daniel going anywhere without at least one of us with him.”

 

“Nafrayu will be allowed to accompany him to the Tuatha’s home.  But he is the only one,” Lya told them in a firm voice.

 

“Hank, I don’t like this one bit.  Daniel gets himself in enough trouble when we are with him, but to have him go somewhere that none of us has been… to meet with questionable people… I’m sorry, that just doesn’t fly with me.”

 

“Sir, wouldn’t that be up to Daniel?” Sam asked softly.

 

“Come on, Carter!  You know how he is.  If he gets wind of this new race he’s gonna want to be all over it!  And then… as par for Dr. Daniel Jackson, he’ll get into trouble and none of us will be there to get him outta it!”

 

“If the Nox trust these Tuatha, then perhaps we should also,” Teal’c added.

 

Jack could see that he was not going to get the support he thought he would from his former team.  Shaking his head, he sat back down with a huff.

 

“Okay, suppose he goes for it.  When will he leave?  And why did he have to get his legs cut off first?”

 

“One must be broken, before he can be fixed,” Lya said.

 

Jack snorted and rolled his eyes. He really hated philosophical mumbo-jumbo.

 

“If Daniel decides to undertake this journey, I will return in five weeks.  That is when the Tuatha have said they would receive us.  Will that give him enough time to sufficiently recover from the surgery?” Nafrayu asked them.

 

Grudgingly, Jack answered, “Probably.”

 

“Then it is done.  If we receive no further communication from you, we shall return in 37 days.  Peace to you all.”

 

The little forest people stood and Teal’c escorted them back to the ‘gate.  The rest of them went their separate ways, only to meet outside the O.R.  Shortly after, Dr. Lam came out.

 

“He’s in post-op now.  Everything went well,” she said tiredly.

 

Sam stood up, “I should go and tell Vala.”

 

“When can we see him, Doc?” Jack asked.

 

“In an hour or two, General.  I’ll call you when he wakes up.”