Daniel paced in the common room of The Center, waiting for Jack to get there.  He didn’t notice when Jordan walked in until the smell of coffee hit his senses.

 

“Morning, Daniel,” the young doctor greeted his newest patent, “you’re up awfully early.  Going somewhere?”

 

Turning to face him, Daniel smiled, “Jjjjack’s cccoming pppick mmme up.  Gggonna see Sam.”

 

Nodding and taking a long sip of his coffee, he stared at the archeologist.

 

“Um… Daniel,” Jordan spoke quietly, “will you join me in the office for a moment?”

 

Daniel pointed out the window with a pout, “B, bbbut… Jack?”

 

“I’ll let Brooke know, she’ll keep an eye out for him.  This is important.”

 

Dropping his head down, the older man acquiesced and followed Jordan down the hall.  When they reached the office/library, Dr. Cruz closed the door behind them.  Both men sat down on the chairs beside the doctor’s desk.

 

Taking a deep breath, Jordan looked Daniel in the eye.  “I have to tell you something that you will not be very happy about,” he began.

 

Daniel’s leg started to shake and he quickly had is lower lip clamped between his teeth.

 

“Daniel, Kacee left this morning.”  Jordan was not prepared for the reaction he got.

 

“Oh…” Daniel said with a sigh of relief, “I, I know.  Sssshe left a, a nnnnote.”

 

“She did?” with a questioning look, Jordan asked, “Could I…  um… see it?”

 

“Hmmmm…” Daniel sighed, “I dddon’t think ssso.”

 

“It’s personal?  Okay, Daniel, I’ll respect that.  But I would like to know if she happened to mention where she was going?”

 

“Ahhh… no, sssshe didn’t.”

 

Jordan dropped his head, “Crap!”

 

Daniel grew concerned, “Is… is she ggg… gonna to bbbe… okay on hhhher own?”

 

“Probably,” he answered, “she’s a survivor.”

 

Daniel nodded.  A knock on the office door startled both men.

 

“Come in, Brooke,” Jordan called.

 

“Daniel,” the speech therapist said as she looked around the door, “General O’Neill is here.”

 

Jordan held up a hand to Daniel, stopping him from getting up and turned to Brooke, “Can you give us a minute?”

 

She nodded and replied, “Sure, I’ll get him some coffee.”

 

After the door closed, the doctor turned to the archeologist, “You’re not planning on leaving too, are you?”

 

If truth be told, Daniel was thinking about it.  He wasn’t sure if he wanted to stay now that his whole focus was going to be on winning Sam back.  That and with Kacee gone, he really didn’t want to be here alone.  She was really the only one he connected with.

 

His silence spoke volumes to Jordan.  Shaking his head, the psychologist leaned back and rubbed his forehead.

 

“Look… Daniel,” he sighed, “I really don’t think you’re ready to be… on your own just yet.”

 

Blue eyes flashed briefly with anger, then turned sad.  He knew that Jordan would not like the idea of him leaving so soon.  He was still not totally right yet.  But he really wanted to go home.

 

Home? Daniel thought, I don’t have a home!

 

Lowering his head to his hands, he let out a miserable groan.  Just as he was about to give in and say he would stay, there was another knock at the door.  Before Jordan could answer, Jack O’Neill came in.

 

“Sorry to barge in, but I wanted to see if everything was okay with Danny Boy here.”

 

Jordan’s eyebrow rose as he looked over to Daniel, “So he’s the one that gets to call you Danny?”

 

The doctor’s grin told the archeologist he was playing with him.  “N… nnnot mmmmy choice,” Daniel glared at Jack, “’m fine, Jack.”

 

Jordan indicated another chair for Jack to pull up with them.  “Daniel was just considering leaving us.”

 

Jack shot his friend a withering look.  “I’m not so sure that’s a good idea, Daniel,”  he said sternly, “Not yet anyway.”

 

Daniel’s heart sank.  He was hoping that Jack would back him up on this.  Seeing how disappointed he was, the colonel thought about his answer.

 

Leaning forward, Jack lightly slapped his friend’s knee, “Tell you what.  You stay here for a while longer, keep working on your therapy and such.  I’ll bring you some work to do in between your groups, just to keep you busy. We’ll see how things go with Sam today.  If she is willing to at least work on getting your relationship back in working order, and if it’s going to be okay with the Doc here, maybe you can move in with me and come in for your head shrinking sessions and physical therapy in a couple of months.  What’da say?”

 

Daniel’s face lit up with a huge grin and then he looked over to Jordan pleadingly.

 

“I would agree to that, IF Daniel puts more effort into his sessions, and I would like to have Sam come in to work with us as well.”

 

Jack frowned, “I’ll have to talk to her about it.  I’ll make it an order if I have too.”  His voice took on his commanding tone, “As for Rock boy here… he will work harder for you OR I won’t bring him stuff to do from the SGC.  And, if things get bad again when you do come home with me, I’ll toss your ass back in here faster than you can translate Goa’uld,”  Jack said directly at the linguist.

 

Daniel couldn’t stop from leaping out of his chair and giving Jack a huge hug.

 

“Okay, alright… enough already,” Jack said, patting his best friends back.  “You want to start the rumors again?”

 

Jordan laughed, “You two should’ve been brothers.”

 

Jack and Daniel looked at each other and grinned.

 

“We are!” they said together.

 

“So, Jordan,” O’Neill said, “is it okay if I steal Danny for a couple of hours?”

 

“Sure.  He could use a field trip.  But he has to be back before 21:00 hours.”

 

“I’ll have him back for supper.”

 

Daniel rolled his eyes at them, “I, I bbbig bbboy, ya’know!”

 

***

 

On the way to the SGC, Daniel was painfully quiet and very obviously nervous.  Jack watched him from the corner of his eye.  The younger man was chewing on his lip, watching out the window and his leg was shaking.  This was such a case of déjà vu, O’Neill actually chuckled.  Daniel glanced over to him, giving his friend a lopsided grin.

 

“Something on your mind, Danny?”

 

The archeologist looked down at his trembling hands and began to rub them together so they would stop.  Jack noticed a scared and shameful look in the bright blue eyes.

 

“Come on, Daniel, fess up,”  Jack said as he reached over and squeezed his best friend’s shoulder. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

 

Turning an apprehensive face towards his former C.O., Daniel let out a long sigh.  “Dddon’t think… I, I… cccan tell you ttth… this, Jjjjack,”  he stuttered fretfully, “Nnnot without… ggg… getting hhhit.”

 

That statement surprised the other man.  Wrinkling his forehead he squinted back at his passenger.

 

“Hit?”  Jack asked, “Why and by whom?”

 

Daniel’s nervousness wrenched up several notches.  He turned his gaze back out the window and continued to worry his lower lip.

 

Getting frustrated, Jack used his commander voice, “SPILL, Daniel.”

 

“I mmmay’ve… mmmade it im… impossible for Sam to… even ttthink a, about tttaking mmme back…,” he said quietly, “I, I… jjjust hhhope I cccan mmmaybbbe her fr… friend again.”

 

O’Neill’s curiosity was peaked.  “What did you do?”

 

Again there was silence to the right of him.  Daniel leaned his head against the cool of the truck’s window.  Watching the snow fall past the window he considered his actions of last night.  He loved Sam so much, but he also had no regrets at what happened with he and Kacee  What’s more, he wasn’t sure if he should kiss and tell.

 

But Daniel knew that he so needed the release, the love and comfort… the confidence.  And he did care a great deal for Kacee.  She found him, excavated him from the ruins of his soul, just as carefully and patiently as any archeologist on a dig.  He really hoped that he would see her again.  He wanted to continue his friendship with her, just as much as he needed Sam’s love to return.

 

Looking down at his hands, Daniel finally mumbled, “I, I… I mmmade lo… llllove to, tttto Kacee last night.”

 

Fear raged inside the younger man as Jack’s truck went careening off the road.  It came to a sudden stop, just short of a huge evergreen.  Daniel had his eyes clenched tightly closed, waiting for the blow he expected from the other man.  But there was only silence.  Cautiously, he opened one eye and looked over to Jack.

 

The general’s hands were gripping the steering wheel of his truck with white knuckle force.  His jaw was taut and eyes blazing.  However, it also looked as if he was willing himself to calm down.

 

That’s a marked improvement, Daniel thought.  Normally, Jack would have acted first, thought about after.

 

“Why?” O’Neill whispered after some time.

 

Daniel opened both eyes now and watched his friend closely.  With a sigh he answered, “It just… kkkinda happened.  Ssshe knew… I, I was rrreally upset that Sam was llleaving mmme.  I didn’t mmmean for it to hhhappen, Jack.  Just… I, I don’t know… we connected.  Fffilled a bbbrr, bbbroken place iiin each… oooother…” he trailed off.

 

Jack turned to face him now.  His eyes reflected the fact he could understand that sometimes…

 

“Well,” he said to the shaking archeologist, “as the song says; if you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.”

 

Daniel’s jaw dropped.  With eyebrows knit together he stared at his companion.  “Www… wwwhha…”

 

“Spit it out, Danny,” Jack grinned.

 

“Who… who are you, aaand what have you d, d, done ttto Jack O’Neill?”

 

“It’s the kinder, gentler Jack O’Neill my young Space Monkey,” the older man replied.  “Just don’t tell Carter.  Okay?  I want to keep you alive for awhile.”

 

Daniel was perplexed beyond reason.  He had not expected this kind of reaction to his confession.  But, he wasn’t stupid.  He would file whole incident away for later study over pizza and beer with his friend.

 

Staring at his hands again, he felt he should explain one thing though, “Jack.  I, I… I don’t think I cccan ddddo this.  Sam de… deserves mmmuch bbbetter than mmme.”

 

Taking Daniel’s shaking hands in his, he looked into the sad azure eyes of his friend, “I don’t believe that Sam could find a better man in this or any other universe.  Understand?”

 

Mussing up the light brown hair, he added, “No more self-deprecation from now on.  Got it?  Knocking you down a peg or two from time to time is my job.”  He smiled at the cold look Daniel gave him.  “Hey, that’s what friends are for!”

 

***

 

Samantha Carter was furious.  The morning didn’t start that great and it was going downhill very quickly.  She accidently set fire to her microwave, (damn aluminum).  Then she got a ticket on the way to work, (seriously, she was only going 10 mph over!).  On top of that, there had been an altercation in the locker room the night before and her locker was jammed shut.

 

After Sergeant Siler pried the door off, she was able to grab her fatigues and storm out of the locker room to her office to change.  When she got inside and closed the door, Sam noticed a post-it on her computer screen.  Sighing, she dropped her head and went to read it.

 

Carter, please see me A-SAP – O’Neill

 

Oh great! she thought.

 

Quickly changing, she went up to the general’s office.  Sam was surprised he was even here at this hour.  Lately, he had been going to see Daniel before come in to work.  She knocked on his door and was told to enter.

 

“You wanted to see me, sir?”

 

“Yes, Carter, come in and sit down please,” O’Neill said in an official voice.

 

This can’t be good! Sam’s mind was racing.  What had she done wrong?  She tried to sound cheerful even though she was anything but.  “You’re here early, sir, something wrong?”

 

Taking his time looking at a file, Jack stretched the moment as long as he could.  He finally looked up at her.

 

“No, just had stuff to do.  I wanted to get here to go through the new recruits that will be posting here the first of the year.  And I went to pick up Daniel so he could hang out here and mess around in his office.  Made him very happy, too.”

 

He made a show of pulling out one tan folder and flipping it open.  He could tell that Carter was getting annoyed.  Without looking up, he said, “I’m sorry, Colonel, but your request for re-assignment to the Atlantis base has been denied.”

 

“WHAT?!” Carter yelled jumping out of her set.

 

“I need you here, Colonel,” Jack offered matter-of-factly.

 

“What for… sir?” she was practically spitting fire.

 

The general stifled a small grin, he knew she would be pissed, to say the least, but he also knew that she and Daniel had to get things worked out one way or the other.  And keeping her earth bound was the only way he could think of.  That and he really didn’t want her to go either.

 

“For starters, you are my 2IC.  You know the workings of this base better than anyone.  I may be going to Washington quite a bit this year and I need to know everything will be taken care of here.”

 

Carter’s jaw was clenched so tight, Jack swore he could hear her teeth cracking.  “What about Major Davis?” she growled the question at him.

 

“First of all, Major is the operative word there and second he’s too valuable to me in Washington,”  he said, “Nope, you’re my man.  Woman.  Colonel.  Whatever.”

 

She stood there seething for several seconds before coming to attention and saluting the man in front of her.  “Permission to leave… sir?”

 

With a casual wave of his hand he replied, “Dismissed.”

 

The storm that was Carter left with a thunderous slam of the door.  Jack let out a long whistle, then paled.  He had told Daniel to stay in his old office, but knowing how stubborn he was about not following orders, he reached for his phone and quickly called down to make sure he was still there.

 

“Come on… come on!  Pick it up, Danny,” Jack mumbled.  “Oh crap!”

 

Slamming the phone down, he bolted out of the office after his very angry 2IC.

 

***

 

As Jack rounded the corner, he was bowled over by a blur that resembled his archeologist.  Just behind him was Carter brandishing Sergeant Siler’s favorite wrench.

 

“I should have known you would pull something like this!  You talked him into keeping me here didn’t you?!”  Sam screamed as she pounded after the retreating Daniel.

 

Jack quickly grabbed her and forced her against the wall, “CARTER!  STAND DOWN!”

 

He didn’t exactly yell, but she knew right then she was way out of line.

 

Can this morning get any worse? she wondered.

 

Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she calmed down.  O’Neill watched her closely.

 

“You better now?”

 

“Yes, sir,” she quietly replied.

 

“Good.  I’m gonna let you go now,” he said as he slowly released her.  Then Jack motioned for her to follow him, “Come with me.”

 

They walked back to her lab and he closed the door behind them after they entered.

 

“What the hell is your problem??!”  Now he was yelling.  “Now I’m gonna have to go and try to calm him down and you had better pray he doesn’t do anything stupid to himself!  I can’t believe you.”

 

Kicking the door, Jack tried to steady his anger.  “Daniel had nothing to do with my decision, Carter.  He did ask me to not let you go, but that was way after I had already decided.  You have got to pull your head outta your ass!”

 

He turned around and stared at her, pleased to see she was looking ashamed of herself.  Walking over to her, Jack pulled her into a tight hug.

 

“Aww, Sam.  What am I gonna do with you?  Huh?”  He stepped back and lifted her face up, wiping a tear away with his thumb.  “Daniel is wildly, madly in love with you.  And knowing how long you waited for him to come out of that coma, I’m sure you are just as in love with him.  Yes, shit has happened.  A lot of shit to be exact, but you have never… never let that stop you from fixing the problem.

 

“Daniel is doing so much better.  Please… just give him a chance.”

 

With a nod and a sniffle, she gave her C.O. and friend a tight hug.  “Thank you… Jack.”

 

“Hey, it’s what I do,” Jack replied with his best Nick Marlowe’s Colonel Danning impression.

 

That got a real laugh from her.  Kissing her forehead, he pulled away, “I have to go and find Danny Boy now.”

 

Sam stopped him, “Wait, sir.  Let me go, please.”

 

Giving her a suspicious look, he cocked an eyebrow up, “No more yelling?”

 

With a wry grin she answered, “I promise.”  As she turned to leave, Jack stopped her and relieved her of the wrench.

 

“Oops,” Sam grinned at him.

 

She left her lab and went to find Daniel.  The first place she decided to check was his office.  As she turned the corner she saw his door was closed.  That was a good sign.  Knocking lightly, she waited for permission to enter.  No answer came.  She knocked again, leaning close in case he was being quiet.  Still no answer came.  Sam was getting worried that maybe he did do something to hurt himself.  Slowly, she opened the door and peeked inside.  She didn’t see him right away so Sam inched into the office.

 

“Daniel?” she asked in a hushed voice, “are you in here?”

 

At a small noise from behind his desk, she went around it to see if he was hiding.  Sure enough, Daniel was sitting on the floor with his knees pulled up to his chest, rocking back and forth, and his head buried in his arms, whimpering.  Sam walked slowly over to him and kneeled down.  She tentatively reached out and began to rub his back in small circles.

 

“Daniel?” Sam whispered to him, “I’m sorry I yelled at you… and chased you… with a big wrench.  It’s been a very bad morning for me.  I know that’s really not a good excuse… and I am very sorry.”

 

Daniel turned his head towards her, fixing watery blue eyes onto hers.  With a sad little smile he sniffed and shrugged.

 

“Are you going to talk to me?” she asked him.

 

His face was a mask trying to hide the pain and doubt, but his eyes told her everything.  He pointed up to his computer, “Hhhit… the ppplay bbb, bbbutton.”

 

Knowing that he found talking very frustrating and that music seem to help get his point across much better, she followed his instructions.

 

“Is this what you want to tell me, Daniel?”

 

He nodded yes, then buried his head again as they listened to the song.  As the first notes started, Sam knew that it was going to cut her to the quick.

 

We were drifting all night
Losing hold of the light
But I saw in your eyes
I was never alone
Even when it got hard
When the shore was too far
Even there your arms
I've always been home

 

ooooooooooo...

 

So sing while we're falling apart
I'll take you dancing
We lived through the wreck of our hearts
And now we're
Just picking up the pieces
Learning how to see when
Love is in the dark

 

There's a cold empty room
There's a windowless view
There's a me without you
But that's not where I belong
Through the waves of the deep
And the storms of the sea
I have you and you me
We're not too far gone

 

So sing while we're falling apart
I'll take you dancing
We lived through the wreck of our hearts
And now we're
Just picking up the pieces
Learning how to see when
Love is in the dark

 

ooooooooooo...

 

Love is in the dark

 

ooooooooooo...

 

Love is in the dark

 

ooooooooooo...

 

So sing while we're falling apart
I'll take you dancing
We lived through the wreck of our hearts
And now we're just picking up the pieces
Learning how to see when
Love is in the dark

 

Love is in the dark

 

When the song finished, Sam sat in silence for a long time, tears glistening on her cheeks.  She turned and looked at the man that held her heart in tormented captivity.  Oh how she loved him… but could she truly let go of all that happened?  Was she even trying too, was the real question.  Placing a hand in Daniel’s hair, she started petting him gently.

 

He turned to face her without lifting his head up.  In a very quiet and hoarse voice he asked the question that he dreaded the answer too.  “Can we… pppick up the pppieces, Sam?  Cccan you fffind mmme… in ttthe dark?”

 

Her heart plummeted into her feet.  Just then she realized exactly how much of bitch she had been acting towards him lately.  Maybe Pete was right, she was insensitive.  Maybe that was why none of her relationships had ever worked out.  She was expecting everything from them, strength, compassion, support, but only one way… for her.  Sam needed to have those things going both ways.  And now, Daniel need all that and more from her.

 

“Oh, Daniel,” she whispered, “you’re not in the dark anymore.  I’ve been so wrapped up in my little world of self pity that… that I couldn’t see what it was doing to you.  Blinding me from the obstacles that you’ve had to overcome.”

 

Lifting up his face and wiping off his tears, she looked deep into the eyes that had captivated her since the first day they met.  “I love you, Daniel.  I’m in love with you and… and I want to be with you… always.”

 

Closing the distance between them, Sam captured his mouth in a kiss that she hoped would tell him everything that words couldn’t.  Unfolding his long and lanky frame, he pulled her close and deepened the kiss with eagerness.  There was no yesterday.  There could be no tomorrow.  Only now mattered.  And now they both found what had been eluding them for almost a year.  Each other.

 

Neither of them noticed that the door to his office had been silently closed by their closest friend.  A smug grin on his face, Jack O’Neill hung a Do Not Disturb sign on the handle and sauntered down the hall to chat with the security guys in the camera room.

 

It’s good to be the General.

 

Pulling away just slightly, Daniel peered into her eyes.  There he saw the truth in what she had said and knew that this was the beginning of his new life with the woman he loved.

 

Smiling, he leaned in for another kiss.  This one more passionate, more possessive, full of the need that he’d felt for so long.  Need that he could tell she had wanted filled as well.  He broke away from her lips and blazed a trail down her jaw onto that most tantalizing neck.  God, now he knew why vampires always go for the neck.  Dancing his tongue over her pulsating artery, he nipped and sucked until Sam let out a moan of pleasure.  That being his cue to proceed, he gently lowered her to the floor behind his desk.

 

Hands pulling at her shirt he slid inside to feel the warmth of her skin.   Sam’s long, slender fingers stroked his back, holding him close.  She knew this was going somewhere they really shouldn’t be going when at work… but what the hell?  They’ve saved the planet too many times to remember.  A little sex behind the desk should be tolerated… at least this time.

 

Sam didn’t even notice that he had managed to get her t-shirt up enough until his mouth descended onto her breast with a delicate nibble.  She giggled as his newly acquired mustache tickled her.  He pulled her nipple into his mouth with a groan of pure bliss.  Their bodies driving at breakneck speed to consume one another completely.

 

The joy…

 

The ecstasy…

 

The klaxon sounded outside the office with a maddening racket.

 

“Unscheduled off world activation.”

 

“FUCK!” Daniel cried out, hitting the floor with his fist.

 

Sam was about to say the same thing, but hearing Daniel say it made her laugh.  “The hazard of sex at work, I suppose.”

 

Rolling his eyes at her, he pushed himself off and helped her up.  Running a quick hand through her hair and tucking her shirt back in, she gave him a sympathetic smile,  “Sorry, Daniel.  I have to go… but I ah, think you had better stay here for a few minutes.”

 

His brow furrowed in disappointment and he was about to protest when she placed a finger on his lips and replied, “I think you should let things… go down a little first…”

 

She made a purposeful look southward at his rather obvious happiness at having her with him.  With a very red face, he nodded his acquiesces and watched her leave quickly.  He smiled, though, know this was not over.  Not by a long shot!

 

***

 

The next few months passed in blinding speed.  Spring came early for Colorado and with it more trouble with the Lucian Alliance.  Plus, with preparations in full swing to have the entire Atlantis base moved to Golden Gate Harbor, things at the SGC were hopping!

 

On a personal level, Sam and Daniel were working hard at mending their relationship with the help from their friends and Dr. Cruz.  Daniel stayed at The Center and focused on retraining his speech control and getting the last of the physical ticks under control.  As his ability grew so did the amount of time he was allowed to go into work.  The only thing he wasn’t cleared for where going on missions, but he was actually very happy at just doing the translations and study of artifacts the other teams were bringing back.  This made him feel as if he really was getting back to normal.

 

When Teal’c was on earth, he would join Daniel and his physical therapist, Bearclaw, in his training.  The two men had hit it off right from the start and the archeologist knew he was in for it when they suggested that both of them worked with him.

 

Sam also began to see Jordan and work through her pain of first believing she had lost Daniel… yet again.  Then the ordeal of waiting for him to come out of a coma only to find out he was not going to be the same man she had known for eleven years. And on top of everything else, his unnatural violence  that had caused her to miscarry.  The councilor she had worked with while staying at her brother’s place never really got her to completely open up the way Jordan was able too.  It was a tremendous load that she had buried in her soul.  Sam didn’t even realize that she had done that.

 

In early summer, Daniel moved in with Jack.  It was by mutual consent that that would be the best arrangement for the time being.  Sam and he went on dates when time allowed.  They were even back to working on problems in the lab together again.  O’Neill had heard snippets of conversations from various people at how the SGC brain trust seem to be back into the swing of things again.  That made him very happy.

 

On one of their meetings with Jordan, Daniel found out that because of what he had done to Sam, the force of the punch had caused irreparable damage to her uterus and she would no longer be able to bare children.  Sam was very shaken up but it was by far the hardest on Daniel.  After he found that out, Daniel slid backwards for several days.  He wouldn’t talk, wouldn’t look at anyone.  He moved through the days like a ghost.

 

Sam finally had enough of his silence and cornered him at Jack’s house one evening.  She pulled him out onto the back deck and sat him down.  Arms wrapped protectively around himself, he rocked slightly and chewed on his lower lip.

 

“Daniel, look at me please,” she said gently.

 

He slowly lifted his gaze to meet her face.  She shuddered from the guilt that filled his eyes.  Taking his hands from the self wrap, she sat down on his lap.  Now she could have his undivided attention.

 

“What I admitted in our last meeting with Jordan was not to punish you.  But if we are to have this relationship work, you had to know.  I did blame you for it, but now…” she had to stop when he looked away with a whimper.  Cupping her hand on his face she pulled him back to look at her again.

 

“Now that I truly understand that you were not in your right mind, I know it was no fault of yours.  Please believe what I say is the absolute truth… I love you, Daniel Jackson, and I want to be a part of your life no matter what.  I know that we had both talked about having kids, and I’m sorry that that will not be possible now.  At least not biologically.  You know better than anyone that there are so many children out there in need of good and stable homes.  I think we should consider rescuing one or two or eight of them.”

 

Daniel’s eyes lit up with that idea.  He never even considered adoption.  Now it seemed to make perfect sense.  Pulling her in tight against him, he kissed her deeply.  It seemed that the last of the barriers between them were now totally blasted away.  Well, almost all the barriers.  Pulling away he looked off in the distance for a moment.  Sam was concerned that he was still upset and blaming himself.  Taking a deep breath, Daniel turned his attention back to his love.

 

“Sam,” he spoke quietly, “I… I need to tell you something that happened with me this past Christmas.”

 

She adjusted herself on his lap and took his hand in hers, “Go on, Daniel.  It’s okay.”

 

Shaking his head, he chewed on his lip again.  He was reluctant to talk to her.  “I’m scared that I will lose you again, Sam.” 

 

Sam placed a kiss on his forehead and said, “It’s okay.  I love you. I promise I will not get upset.”

 

Slightly emboldened by her words he ventured forward, “On the night that you told me you were going to transfer to Atlantis, I was very mad and upset.  Kacee came in to comfort me, help me work through my pain.  She was the only person I could talk too and she really helped to find myself again.”  Pausing for a second, he looked away, “We talked about how I was feeling with your plans on leaving… and then… then…” his voice faltered.

 

Sam placed her hand on his cheek and finished for him, “You and she made love that night, didn’t you?”

 

With tears forming in his eyes, he nodded not looking at her, full of shame.  He was never one for casual sex, but his time with Kacee didn’t ever feel like that.  It was a need that both of them had and knew that the other could fill that space with the love they were so desperate for.

 

“Daniel, look at me,” Sam whispered.

 

He lifted his eyes towards her without lifting his head.  Still trying to hide from her, he let out a muffled whimper.  Sam lowered her face towards him and captured his mouth in an all encompassing kiss that imparted her understanding and forgiveness to him.

 

“I love you, Daniel Jackson, and I will not let anything ever get in the way of that again,” her words were firm and decisive, leaving no room for misinterpretations.

 

She was then graced with the first true Daniel smile she had seen in a long time.  Tears brightening her eyes as she consumed his lips in another passionate kiss.  He responded in kind with his hands beginning to wander up under her blouse as the moans of pure rapture heightened the mood.

 

“Oh for cryin’ out loud, would you two get a room, please!”  Jack’s amused voice startled them into to fits of giggles.

 

Lifting Sam up off his lap, Daniel stood up with a smug look.  Taking her by the hand, they walked by Jack and into the house.  O’Neill followed them in but stopped abruptly when he saw that Daniel was heading to his bedroom.

 

“Um, guys… I didn’t mean… right this very minute…”

 

No answer came from the retreating scientists.

 

“Guys?  We have pizza coming in 45 minutes.  Guys?  D’oh!” Jack stood all alone in his quiet living room.

 

When he began to hear the unmistakable sounds of love being made he quickly turned his TV on and found a hockey game.  Making sure the surround sound was up very loud, he sat down and raised his beer to himself in congratulations for a job well done.

 

***

 

It was mid October when an airman knocked on Daniel’s office door,  “Dr. Jackson, this letter came for you.”

 

“Thanks,”  taking the letter he perused the outside of the envelope.  Written in big, bold, letters was, CONFIDENTIAL.  The return address was the Air Force Academy and Daniel thought maybe Jordan had heard from Kacee.  He had been asking his former Doctor about her from time to time, but he really hadn’t found out much.

 

Daniel sat down at his desk and sliced the envelope open.  Pulling the letter out, he recognized the hand writing immediately.  It was Kacee.

 

Dear Daniel,

 

By the time you get this I will be gone again.  Please do not try and find me.  I have a new and pretty good life where I am.  I came back to speak with Jordan and ask his advice with a matter of great importance to me… and you.

 

Jordan told me that you and Sam have recently gotten married.  I am very happy about that!  I was really hoping that you would.  I know how much you love her, D.J. and I  didn’t want to come back to kick your ass if you hadn’t fought for her.

 

He told me that you were both looking into adopting a child due to some complications.  That is where this letter comes in.

 

I came back here, as I said, to speak with Jordan about something important.  The night you and I took comfort in each other, I became pregnant.  I did not want to hinder your work to get Sam back, so I never told anyone who the father was.  I am at a place in my life where I can’t really take care of a child, but I never thought of ending the life you and I conceived.  You know as well as I, how being an orphan can really suck and the importance of a good and stable family.  I don’t feel that I can offer this baby that stability.

 

I was going to put him up for adoption when Jordan suggested that I ask you, being the father, first.  Jordan has my written consent to place the child up for adoption if you or Sam do not wish to keep him.  I think though, that knowing you, you will.

 

I am sorry for my not being around, and I really hope that you will not think to badly of me for not wanting to raise my own son.  I just feel that, in reality, you are a much better choice to give him all the opportunities that I know I could not.

 

His birthday is September 14, and his name is Dakota Colt Jackson. He is in perfect health and oh… his eyes!  They are truly your eyes, D.J.

 

Jordan has all the signed paper work with him and will get in touch with you in one week if he doesn’t hear from you first.

 

Please forgive me, Daniel.  I really did not intend for this to happen.  I only hope that you will do what you think is best for Dakota as well as yourself and your wife.

 

I love you, D.J. and I wish you the best.

 

Kacee

 

Daniel put the letter down, not sure of how he was feeling.  He was sad that she felt she had to go through the pregnancy alone.  And now he was worried about how Sam would respond to this news.

 

Still, as he read the letter again, he couldn’t help the proud smile.

 

He had a son.  A son named Dakota Colt.  Leave it to Kacee to come up with such a unique name, but he loved it.

 

Would Sam though?  Would she accept Dakota as their child?  Letting out a deep sigh, he stood up and headed off to Sam’s lab.

 

Even with his head worrying,  somewhere deep down inside of him, he was jumping with joy.  He just couldn’t stop repeating to himself that he had a son.  A boy of his very own.  His only regret was that Dakota’s mother wasn’t Sam, the love of his life.  But Daniel sincerely hoped that she would be happy to take the job.  And he did love Kacee, it just wasn’t the same.

 

Reaching the door to her lab, he walked in and closed it behind him.  When Sam looked up, she smiled brightly, then saw the concern on his face.

 

“Daniel?  What’s wrong?”

 

“Can you leave now?”

 

“I suppose so.  I’m not doing anything that important,” she said, but apprehension was washing over her.  “Are you feeling alright?”

 

“Yeah, I just hhhave to… tttalk with you a, aaabout something.”

 

Sam was really worried now.  Daniel’s stutter only showed up these days when he was upset about something.

 

“Let me just wrap this up and we can go.”

 

It was a very quiet ride down the mountain.  No matter how many times she asked, Daniel wasn’t giving up his stony silence.  He would assure Sam only with small smiles and a squeeze of the hand.

 

When they finally pulled into the driveway, Sam had enough.

 

“Okay, we’re home.  Now spill it, Daniel.”

 

Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he pulled the envelope out and held it in front of her.  “I have something to show you.  I just got this letter today from Kacee and I need you to read it very carefully, please.”

 

She could tell he was very agitated by the self hug and the way his eyes were darting around again.  Taking the letter from him she read it.  Daniel tried to watch her reactions to gauge how she would respond, but her military training was in full force and she kept her face guarded.

 

When it seemed as if she could have read the letter at least six times, Sam finally looked up at him.  Shifting closer to his car door, he waited for whatever was coming.

 

In an even voice, Sam said, “Let’s go inside.”

 

Daniel was sure this was not going to be good, but he fished his keys out and they went inside their home.  As soon as the door closed, Sam launched herself into his arms crying, “Oh Daniel, I am so happy for us.  We have a boy, and he is really a part of you!”

 

Taken aback, Daniel’s stutter returned again, “Y, yyyou’re nnnot… upset ttth… ttthat he’s mine?”

 

“How could I be!  This is fantastic.  You need to call Jordan right away and tell him we’re coming to see our son.  I also want to know if maybe we could find out where Kacee is to let her know that he will be with his father.  Daniel, this is our son.  Just like we’ve been talking about.  I can’t wait to see him.”

 

Sam reached up and kissed him so hard, he thought he would pass out.  When she pulled away, her face was glowing with pride and pleasure.  “I’m going to call Jack and tell him that we need a few weeks leave.  You call Jordan, okay?”

 

Not really sure if he was in the same reality or not, Daniel just nodded.  Then his brain kicked in and he reached out to snag her back into his arms.

 

“Sam!” he smiled and said, “I love you, Samantha Jackson!”

 

“I love you too, Daniel,” she said with a warm and passionate kiss as proof.

 

He held her tightly and began to sway as he sang quietly into her hair.

 

“So sing while we're falling apart, I'll take you dancing.  We lived through

the wreck of our hearts.  And now we're just picking up the pieces, learning

how to see, when love is in the dark…”

 

No matter how many languages he could speak, write, or understand, there

would never be the right ones to encompass all the feelings he had for his

wife… or his friend Kacee.

 

Music, however, could always find a way.

 

~Fin~

 

Wreck of Our Hearts
By Sleeping Wolf