The first night was shear hell for Daniel.  New place, new faces, new routine.  He began to think that this wasn’t such a good idea after all.  He wanted Jack.  He wanted Sam.

 

He wanted to hide.

 

Hiding was something he could do.  He curled up in the farthest corner, and rocked himself to sleep.  Maybe he could just sleep the rest of his life.  That way he wouldn’t be a bother to anyone.

 

“Wake-y, wake-y, sleepy head.”

 

Daniel groaned at the intrusion.  He didn’t want to wake up.  He didn’t want to open his eyes and see an unfamiliar place.

 

“Come on, Daniel,” the irritating voice kept going, “Jordan told me to get you for breakfast.”

 

Opening his eyes reluctantly, the first thing he saw was the woman he met yesterday smiling and holding his glasses out for him.  He took them, putting them on and stretching out his cramped legs.

 

“God, that had to be uncomfortable,” she said watching him. “You know, the bed is a much better place to sleep.”

 

Daniel scowled at her, but she just laughed and held out her hand to help him up.  Taking it, he pushed himself off the floor slowly.  Stumbling over to the bed, he dropped down on it stiffly.  He was getting old.

 

The woman sat beside him, and patted his back and said softly, “First nights are always the toughest.  It’ll get better, I promise.  Do you remember me?”

 

Daniel thought for a moment.  Kacee was her name.  Nodding to her, she grinned.

 

“You just aren’t gonna talk, huh?”

 

He frowned and ducked his head down shrugging.

 

“That’s okay.  You will when you want to.  I was like that when I came home from Afghanistan,” Kacee said gently.  Then she clapped him on the back and jumped up, “Come on, Daniel, I’m starving!”

 

Pulling him up, Kacee pushed him towards the door.  “We’ll make a stop at the bathroom if you want.”

 

Kacee laughed at him as he nodded emphatically.  Daniel gave her a haphazard grin and decided he kind of liked this elven woman.  Her size and demeanor was reminiscent of Janet Fraiser.  The memory of the late Doctor touched a nerve.  He missed Janet very much.

 

After washing up and dragging a comb through his hair, he changed his shirt and was ready to go.

 

As they entered the kitchen, Daniel took stock of everyone.  He knew Jordan and of course, Kacee, but the others were new to him.  After Jack left, he didn’t ventured out of his room, so he never met anyone else.

 

Jordan looked up and smiled at the new arrivals to the kitchen.

 

“About time, Kacee” he said in mock annoyance, then turned a warm smile to Daniel.  “Let me introduce you to everyone.”

 

Steering him to the table, Jordan sat Daniel down and then began the introductions, “Okay, the red head is Alex.  He’s a Gunnery Sergeant in the Marines and eats everything in sight.”

 

“OO-RAH!” Alex said with a grin.  He offered his hand and said, “Hey-ya, Daniel.  Nice to meet’cha.”

 

Jordan continued, “Next we have Justin.  He was a Master Sergeant in the Air Force, now retired.”

 

The tall, wiry man with hazel eyes nodded.  “Yep, lost all my marbles back in Iraq.  Jordan here thinks he can find them,”  he said as he took Daniel’s hand in a warm shake.

 

Daniel gave him a half hearted grin.

 

Jordan then sat next to the newest member and pointed a crossed the table at the lovely young woman, Daniel knew.

 

“And someone you already are acquainted with.  Brooke will be continuing to work with you for speech therapy.”

 

“Hello, Daniel.  It’s nice to be working with you again.  We’ll be starting later this afternoon.”

 

Daniel smiled at her.  He was happy that she was going to be working with him.  He hadn’t seen her for a few weeks.

 

“And last but not least, Bearclaw.”

 

Daniel looked up and noticed the very large man at the stove.  When he turned around to face the rest of them, the archeologist saw that he was Native American.  His long black hair pulled back into a ponytail, and his dark eyes shone like onyx gems.  When he smiled at him, Daniel was immediately at ease with the man.  Something about him radiated peace and serenity.  It reminded him of the way Teal’c always made him feel.

 

“Bearclaw will be your occupational therapist.  He’ll be tough on you, but I guarantee by the time you leave us, you’ll be a new man!”

 

“Daniel,” Bearclaw greet him in a thundering bass voice, “you look as if you have had some physical training.  Are you an athlete?”

 

Shaking his head no, Daniel dropped his gaze to the table.

 

“Daniel has been working with the Air Force for a while.  He’s probably has had some hand to hand training.  Am I right?” Jordan asked.

 

A nod from the silent one was all the answer he received.

 

“Okay, okay,” Kacee chimed in, “enough with the intros, I’m starving here.”

 

Everyone agreed with her and breakfast was served.

 

***

 

When Jack walked into his office the Monday following his relocating Daniel, he was surprised to see Sam sitting there waiting for him.  She was in her dress blues and snapped to attention as soon as he entered the room.  Eyebrows raised, he cocked his head to one side.

 

“Aren’t you in San Diego where I ordered you to be?” he asked her.

 

She smiled a genuine smile and replied, “No, I’m standing in your office waiting for an assignment, sir.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Giving her a sidelong glance, he did notice that she seemed to closer to her old self than when she left.  Jack went to his disk and sat down, taking great pains on shuffling papers around to look as if he were working.

 

After about a minute of this, Carter cleared her throat impatiently.  “Ah, sir?”

 

“At ease, Carter,” he answered her without looking up.  “Are you wanting R&D or missions?”

 

Sam thought about this as she sat down opposite her C.O.  She really missed going off world.  But the idea of being a pure scientist had its advantages.  On the other hand… she really, really missed going off world.  But would it be the same without Daniel?

 

And then there was Daniel.

 

She hadn’t even thought about him since getting back.  That shocked her to her very core.  She had thought her whole reason for coming home was to be with him.  Now, all she was thinking about was work.  Did that mean she was falling out of love with him?

 

No!  That can’t be right.  She just needed to get some semblance of normality in her life before tackling the subject of her feelings for Daniel Jackson.

 

Looking at her C.O. she answered, “If there is a spot on a SG team, I would like that, sir.”

 

“Well, as it so happens there is an opening on… let me see here,” O’Neill shuffled more papers around, “Ah, here it is.  Will SG-1 be alright with you, Colonel?”

 

If it weren’t improper, Sam would have launched herself into his arms.  Instead, she sat up straight and with all the professionalism she could muster, replied, “That would be fine, sir.  Thank you.”

 

Jack knew that getting back in the field would be a good thing for her.  He also knew that treating her as if all was okay in the world, was the thing to do right now.  However, he was a little surprised that she hadn’t asked about a certain linguist.  He brushed the thought aside, labeling it; future discussion.

 

Not looking up from his disk, he said, “You’re dismissed, Colonel.”

 

Sam smiled.  She knew what he was doing.  Subtlety was not his thing.

 

“Thank you, sir,” she said before getting up and heading for the door.

 

“Oh and Carter, will you meet me for lunch at 13:30?  We have some things to discuss.”

 

Nodding her head, she answered, “Yes, sir.”

 

After she left, Jack sighed.  He hoped he was doing the right thing with his two favorite family members.  Being a pseudo-father was hard work.  Especially with two kids that always seemed to get into trouble.

 

***

 

The first couple of weeks at The Center were spent with Jordan, Annie and Kacee trying to pull Daniel out of his shell.  He wasn’t making it easy, either.  Most of the time Kacee was simply looking for him.  He was very good at disappearing, until she discovered his hiding place.

 

Watching from her upstairs window, she spied Daniel stealing out to an old shed at the very back of the yard.  Usually it was locked, but she saw him go around to the back… and not come out.

 

Grabbing her jacket, Kacee decided to stalk him.  Thankful for the snow muffling her footsteps, she approached the shed as quietly as a mouse.  Peering around the corner she found Daniel sitting on a stack of logs, shivering and writing in a notebook.  His face was screwed up in pained concentration and his hand was shaking, making it very difficult for him to write.

 

Kacee noticed a lot of crumpled up pieces of paper scattered around him.  Groaning in frustration and anger, Daniel jumped up and threw the notebook as hard as he could with a scream of rage.  That wasn’t enough to quench his fury though.

 

He turned and grabbed a heavy branch began beating it against the shed.  When the branch broke in two, he hurled it away and started to hit the shed wall with his fists.  That’s when Kacee took action.

 

Running over to him, she got between Daniel and the shed.  She reached out and blocked the punch that he was in the midst of throwing, then grabbed his arm.

 

“Daniel!” she yelled at him.

 

He stilled immediately.  Looking at her concerned face, he dropped his head in shame.

 

Kacee pulled him into a hug, whispering, “Shhhh… it’s okay, Daniel.”

 

She held him for quite some time, rubbing his back and comforting him.  When he settled down, she pulled away and looked into his sad eyes.  The pain she saw was intense.  Kacee took him over to the stack of logs and sat him down.  She then went and found his notebook half buried in the snow and brought it back, sitting down beside him.

 

He made to take it away from her, but she held it out of reach, holding up a finger.

 

“Wait,” she said sternly, “yes or no answers, okay?”

 

Frowning, he nodded.

 

“Is this a journal?”

 

He shook his head no.

 

“A letter?”

 

Yes.

 

“Personal?”

 

Shrug.

 

When she saw that, she knew that he was trying to write either his wife or his girlfriend.  She didn’t notice a wedding ring, so the latter must be right.  Kacee’s heart went out to him.  He looked so miserable and lost.  She remembered that feeling all too well.

 

Taking his hand in hers, she asked him quietly, “Is it something I can help you write?”

 

He blinked at her, his eyebrows in a frown.

 

“I can write it for you… if you tell me what to say,” she offered.

 

Daniel looked away.  He hadn’t spoken a word since he moved in.  He didn’t want to.  If he started talking, he would have to start reliving everything that had happened.  In his silence, he was able to hide it all away.

 

But in his heart, he was a speaker, a linguist.  Words were his life, both written and verbal.  His silence was like an amputation.  Maybe now was the time to break his self-imposed silence.

 

Looking back at the woman beside him, he searched her face for his answer.  She smiled at him and shook her head.

 

“I can’t solve your internal struggle to talk again, Daniel.  You have to come to that point on your own.”

 

His jaw dropped.  How in the world did she know what he was thinking?  Staring into those grey eyes, he realized that she was truly of the elven folk.

 

Heaving a deep sigh, he nodded, then said quietly, “Hhhhelp… pppl… pppllease.”

 

Kacee threw her arms around him in a fierce hug.

 

“You bet I’ll help you, Dan-man,” she laughed.

 

He looked at her with one eyebrow up and a scowl.

 

“Okay, okay… Danny?” she asked innocently.

 

He snorted a quiet laugh, shaking his head.

 

“Oh, all right… Daniel,” Kacee huffed,  “it just seems so… formal.  What’s your middle name?”

 

“N, Nnnn… Nicholas,” he stammered.

 

Kacee sighed, grimacing, “Nope… still to formal.  I’ll think of something.”

 

She told him as she stood up offering her hand to him.

 

“Kacee,” Daniel looked at her sadly, “d, d, don’t… tttell…”

 

Placing her finger on his lips, she smiled softly at him, “You’ll start talking to the rest when you’re ready.  It’s not my place.  I’m here for help also… I’m not one of the staff.  Okay?”

 

He gave her a genuine smile, “Thanks.”

 

She blushed and looked away, “You keep smiling at me like that, D.J. and I’m going to have to try and steal you from whom ever you got waiting for you.”

 

With a playful shove, he laughed, “D.J.?”  He thought about it as they walked back to the house, “I, I, llllike… ttthhat… one.”

 

She grinned up at him and took his hand in hers.  As they strolled back to The Center, Kacee realized that she was letting this man get to her.  She was usually so well guarded, but there was something about Daniel that wormed its way under her defenses.  She had to work on mending that wall, she knew that he was with someone.  Besides… alone was safer for her.

 

They went to Jordan’s office.  The rule was, if the door was open, the library was open.  It was a nice quiet place for them to work on the letter without letting anyone else bother them or find out that Daniel was speaking.  Kacee closed the door to ensure this.

 

Jordan had the fireplace going as it was cold now.  The two new friends sat on the floor with a footstool between them as a table.  Kacee pulled the notebook and pen out and looked at Daniel.

 

“Okay then,” she said in an all business tone, “what do you want to say?”

 

Daniel thought about this.  He wanted it to be just a friendly letter to Sam.  Nothing to emotional.  He didn’t want to push his luck with her, not knowing how she felt about him anymore.  It seemed like a lifetime ago that they were happy and in love.  It startled  him to realize that it was about seven months ago they had begun their relationship.  So much had happened to them since then.

 

Closing his eyes, he wondered where to start.  Kacee watched him struggle to find the words.

 

“How about we start with, Dear…, who’s this too?” she asked.

 

Quietly, Daniel murmured, “Sam.”

 

Kacee looked at him confused, “Sam? As in Samantha or Samuel?”

 

“Samantha,” he said with a smirk.  “Shhhh, shheee mmmy gir, girl… bbbe… fore,” he quietly said with a far off look in his eyes.

 

Kacee knew that look.  It was the ‘smitten puppy in love’ look.  And with his beautiful, clear blue eyes, it was even more pronounce.

 

Stop it, Kacee! she berated herself.  He’s forbidden fruit.

 

“Okay, so… Dear Sam, that’s a start.  Now what?” she asked.

 

Daniel’s eyes grew misty with tears as he mumbled, “I… ssssssorry.”

 

“Nope.  This is a friendly letter.  No apologizing.  How about, how are you doing? instead?”

 

He gave her a small smile and nodded, “Ah-huh.  Ggg, gggood.”

 

For a short letter, it took them almost three hours to write it.  Daniel would get frustrated with his speaking and Kacee would have to calm him down.  When they finally finished, Kacee addressed the envelope and they both walked out to the mailbox.  On the way back, Daniel stopped her.

 

“Thank you.”

 

She smiled at him.  “No sweat.”

 

Daniel shook his head, “I, I… yyyyou… pppull… words… ou, out.”

 

Dropping her gaze to the ground, she shrugged, “We all need someone to help us from time to time, Daniel.  We’re pack creatures at the very core.  Even a lone wolf like me, needs others sometimes.”

 

His heart ached at her last words.  She was alone?  Where was her family?  Was she like him?  An orphan?  A product of the system?

 

He pulled her into a friendly hug and said quietly, “No lllllone wolf… aaan-more.”

 

When Daniel pulled away, Kacee wouldn’t look at him.  She was stiff, but tried to hide it with a strained smile.

 

“Come on, D.J.,” she said with a tight voice, “It’s almost dinner time.  Can’t let Alex get there first or there won’t be any for the rest of us.”

 

The next few days, Daniel studied the young woman that had managed to pull him out of his funk.  She had an earthy, warm feel about her.  He knew that she would be most at home outdoors.  She had wolfish eyes that would varied in color with her mood, bright grey when she was happy, darker when she was mad or upset.  She didn’t care much for putting on airs.  Kacee’s idea of a prefect hair day was running her hands through it and slamming a ball cap on her head.  And that was usually backwards.

 

She laughed easily and listened carefully to whoever was speaking.  Daniel wondered why she was here.  What had happened to make this seemingly well adjusted person have to be at a recovery house.  It was too early in their friendship for such questions though.  But he decided he was going to find out all about this elven woman.

 

After a very bad day, Daniel was having a hard time letting out his frustrations.  He wanted to hit something or break something.  Kacee came to his rescue again.

 

“D.J.,” she said as she cornered him in the day room, “go and get your jacket.  I’m gonna show you how I burn off steam.”

 

Meeting up by the back door, Daniel saw she had ice skates for both of them and a couple of hockey sticks.  His eyes grew wide.  He had never been ice skating before.  Jack had tried once to get him to go to the rink with him, but

Daniel had mysteriously came down with a bad cold.

 

“Nnnnnooo hhhooww,” he mumbled.

 

“Not a problem,” she said with a wicked grin, “I’ve taught

many-a men how to skate.  You’ll be ready for the NHL by

the time I’m done with you.”

 

Daniel looked skeptical at her then shrugged.  At least it would

take his mind of things and get rid of his pent up energies.

 

“Yyyou ttttteach, Jjjjack ha… happ, py,” he said with a grin.  

By the end of the day, Daniel was skating and handling puck

control rather well for his first time.

 

Later that night, sore but happy, he spent in the library reading all about Jack’s favorite sport.  Kacee showed him how fun it was, and he wanted to know more about it.  Jack was going to be surprised!

 

***

 

Colonel Samantha Carter immersed herself in work.  The department she struggled to put together was a complete mess.  She hated doing it, but some of the new scientist that had been employed since her departure, had to be let go.  They just weren’t working up to the standards that she expected from her staff.

 

Sam felt like she did when she first joined the Stargate Program.  It was comforting, familiar and just what she needed.  Two weeks had passed and SG-1 wasn’t slated for a mission until the following Monday.  She was looking forward to it.  The team dynamic was gelling just as it had before, even with one member missing.

 

She had considered going to see Daniel one of the many times Jack had asked her, but quickly drowned herself in work.  One Friday night, as she poured over specs for a new shield generator, Jack came in to her lab.

 

“Carter,” his tone was friendly, but his face set in stone, “I’m going to go see Daniel tomorrow… you wanna come?”

 

She didn’t look up from her project as she considered his offer.  “I don’t think so, sir.  I was going to come in to work some more on this generator.”

 

Jack knew what she was doing and was not happy about it.  He pulled a stool over and sat down.  Taking her hands in his, he made her turn and look at him.

 

“Sam,” he said quietly, “how long are you going to avoid seeing him?  You’ve been back for weeks, but you haven’t even asked how he’s doing.”

 

She sighed, “I know.”  Her face was burning as she looked down at nothing in particular.  “It’s just… I still don’t know how I’m feeling towards him.  And… I’m afraid.”

 

“Afraid of what?”

 

Sam let out a soft sigh, “Afraid that I won’t be able to forgive him.  I know, deep down I still love him, but… I’m not sure that I’m…” she stopped, shaking all over.

 

“You’re afraid you’re not in love with him anymore.  Is that it?” Jack asked her.

 

She couldn’t answer him.  When she was with Pete, Sam felt for sure that she was still in love with Daniel.  Now… being back and relatively close to him… she wasn’t.  She hated being confused.

 

“What am I going to do, Jack?”

 

“I wish I could answer that for you, Sam… but I can’t,” he told her gently.  “You’re going to have to work this out for yourself.  But you can’t just keep ducking him.  He needs to know if you are still willing to be with him, or let him go.  It’s only fair.”

 

Standing up, O’Neill turned to leave.  He paused at the door and spoke over his shoulder to her, “Do you even have a message for him this time?”

 

Feeling like a cold-hearted bitch, she shook her head no.  Carter could hear Jack sigh as he left.  She wanted to scream.  To hit something… anything.  Getting up, she decided to go down to the gym and beat up a heavy bag.  Maybe that would help clear her mind.

 

***

 

As Jack approached the building, the door was flung open and Daniel ran out with nerf gun in his hand and a huge grin on his face.  O’Neill had thought at first his friend us just happy to see him, but then he saw Kacee chasing him with her own nerf gun.  Watching behind him, the former SG-1 linguist jumped the six steps that led up to the door, and crashed smack into Jack.  Both men went sprawling in a tangled mess to the ground.

 

Kacee stopped at the top of the stairs and burst into laughter.  Daniel pushed himself up on all fours and looked down at Jack with a grin.

 

“Daniel,” the general intoned.

 

“Jack,” Daniel sent right back at him.

 

“You, ah… maybe wanna get off of me?” Jack asked in the most annoyed voice he could muster.

 

With a bright smile, Daniel stood up and offered his hand to his C.O.  Once both men were upright, dusting off the snow, Kacee came down the steps still laughing.

 

“That was great!”

 

Jack scowled at her, but she just grinned.

 

“Don’t you have anything better to do then chasing my archeologist around?  You do realize that he’s over 40… you’re gonna give him a heart attack!” Jack gripped at the small woman.

 

Laughing again, she turned to Daniel, “Yep, you’re right.  He’s a goof.”  She smiled at the look of indignation on the general’s face.  “I’ll let you two be alone.  I’m sure you want to catch up with each other.”

 

Daniel made as if he was going to stop her, but she got away too quickly.  Jack watched as she left around the corner of the building, then noticed his archeologist looking after her as well.  Squinting at him, Jack took note of the longing he saw in Daniel’s eyes.

 

“So,” Jack said as he pulled the other man’s face around to look at him, “getting along fine, I see.”

 

Daniel blushed and ducked his head.

 

“Are you going to invite me in, or do I have to stay out here in the cold?”

 

With a nod, Daniel turned and led Jack into The Center and down to his room.  Once safely behind closed doors, Jack turned on his friend.

 

“What was that all about?”

 

When Daniel didn’t answer, O’Neill took him by the shoulders, giving him a slight shake.

 

“Daniel,” his no nonsense voice hard, “you know why you are here, right?  To get better and come home to Sam and the SGC.  You don’t have time to be… playin’ around.”

 

Daniel shrugged out of Jack’s hold and walked over to his bed, sitting down.

 

“Noooo… pl, playin’, JJJack,” he croaked out, “mmmmy… fr, friend.  Hhhhelp me… ffff… forget.”

 

With a deep and weary sigh, Jack went and sat by his former teammate.

 

“Jordan’s told me that you haven’t been cooperating with your therapy sessions.  He said you haven’t spoken a word, and the only one you are even half way working with is the occupational therapist.  He’s told me you are either, hiding, reading or hanging out with that Kacee girl.  I thought that when I got here, I would find you all… oh, I don’t know.  Melancholy.  Instead, you’re playing around like a kid.  What’s got into you, Daniel?”

 

He shrugged his shoulder.

 

“Don’t you want to get better and come home?” Jack asked him.

 

“W, wwhat… ppppoint?” Daniel mumbled.  “Nnnot… gggonna… wor… wwwork.  Sam nnnot sssseee… wwannt mmm… mmme.”

 

“Do you still love Sam?” O’Neill asked cautiously.

 

Daniel closed his eyes and let out a soft sob.  He did love Sam, but the time apart and with her not calling or even writing had started to put a few hairline fractures in his resolve.  He was never a love ‘em and leave ‘em kinda guy, but Sam was really putting his heart through the wringer.  And Kacee had been so sweet to him.  She would listen to him, cry with him, help him with anything.  Plus it didn’t help that she was H. O. T!

 

O’Neill saw the tears forming in Daniel’s eyes.  He knew all of this was tearing him apart.  Not being able to communicate weighed on him and Sam not even coming to see him was obviously causing his antipathy.  Jack knew he still had all the knowledge and that he remembered everything.  It was just getting it across to others, be it vocally or written, that was the problem now.  He watched as Daniel’s hands started shaking.  This was new.

 

“Hey,” Jack put his hand on Daniel’s to calm him, “I know things aren’t… seeming to be going your way when it comes to Carter, but you can’t give up.  If Kacee is a distraction, I can find you a different place to live—”

 

“NO!” Daniel didn’t really mean to yell, but if his friend was going to be taken away from him too, he didn’t think he would be able to handle it.  “No, Jjjj, Jack.  Wwwant sss… ssstay.  Cee mmm, mmy frr… frrrie…”

 

Letting out a roar of frustration, he jump up from his chair and hit the wall hard enough to put a dent in the plaster.  Jack was by his side with lightning speed.  He put his arms around Daniel and held him until his friend’s muscles relaxed.  He then had Daniel sit down while he went into the small bathroom to wet a cloth.  Sitting down next to his friend, he took the wounded hand and began to wipe the blood off his knuckles.

 

“Ssss… ssssorr…” Daniel murmured, “nnnnot knnno wha… wha…” he began to get agitated again.

 

Jack sighed as his friend started to shake with the effort of trying to speak and had a thought of what could maybe help him.

 

“I have an idea.  I know you are having trouble getting your words out…”

 

“Ya’think?”

 

“Cute.  Seriously, have you tried to speak out loud in one of your other languages?”

 

Daniel looked at him incredulously.

 

“I mean it.  Try saying something, a sentence, or two in another language.  You pick.”

 

Thinking that Jack was cracked, the younger man closed his eyes to come up with a good statement.

 

“Ich denke, dass du deine Marmore verloren hast,” Daniel said perfectly.  No stutter, no hesitation.

 

Looking at Jack in complete disbelief, he stood up and started pacing.

 

“Je l'ai fait? Je peux parler bien dans d'autres langues?” he smiled as his head was wrapping around the idea of being able to talk again.

 

“Esto es irreal!”

 

Jack started laughing, “Daniel, I have no idea what you are saying, however… you’re doing a good job at saying it.  Sit down here for a minute.”

 

Daniel was too excited to sit, O’Neill had to pull him down.

 

“Try saying everything you just did… but in English now.  Take your time,” Jack suggested.

 

With his eyes closed and his face scrunched up in concentration, Daniel quietly spoke, “I… I think that you… lost… your mmmarbles.  German.”

 

He looked at Jack and saw the older man roll his eyes at him, “Funny.  What else did you say?”

 

“I… did it? I… speak…” he shook his head and took a deep breath and started again. “I can speak well in other… languages?  French.”

 

Daniel was all smiles now.  For the first time since waking from a coma he felt that he just might get his ability to communicate back.

 

“And the last thing you said?” Jack pushed.

 

“This is unreal. Spanish,”  Daniel started laughing.  “Jack, sssshould… bbbe…”

 

“Slow down, Danny.  You’re stuttering again.”

 

Nodding, he began again slower, “You… should… be… therapist.”

 

Giving him an affectionate hug, Jack replied, “Only for you, Danny boy.  Only for you.”

 

***

 

The two men walked around the snowy grounds talking about this, that and everything.  Daniel was so pleased at being able to communicate again; he didn’t want to waste any time using it.  Jack had to remind him to speak slowly, though.  Every time he got into that patented Jackson fast talk, he would begin to stutter again.

 

As they headed back to The Center, Jack stopped and pulled Daniel around to look at him.  With a worried expression, the older man knitted his eyebrows and let out a deep sigh.

 

“Daniel,” he began, “Sam is back in town.  She’s back to work at the SGC and on SG-1.”

 

The archeologist dropped his gaze to the ground and started chewing on his lip.  He wanted to ask how long she had been back, but wasn’t sure he really wanted to know.  She obviously didn’t want anything to do with him, so… what did it matter.  Wrapping his arms around himself, Daniel began to rock.  Jack could tell that the walls were rapidly being fortified.   When nothing was said, he took the younger man’s shoulders to still him.

 

“She got back the same day I brought you here.  I didn’t know until the following Monday when I got to work,” Jack explained.  “Every time I came to see you, I ask if she wanted to also, but I think she is still dealing with a lot of… emotional baggage.”

 

Daniel shrugged out of Jack hold and turned away.  She didn’t want to see him.  Why was he even thinking that they would get back together.  She may say she’d forgive him, but now he wasn’t sure if he could believe that.  Kacee, on the other hand, has been there for him, helping him with so much.

 

“I’ve given her the letters you’ve sent.  I’ve even made sure that she reads them,” he offered.

 

Daniel turned pained filled eyes to his friend.  Mumbling, he said, “Doesn’t… mmma mmmatter.  Thanks… coming… sssssee… mmme, Jjjack.”

 

O’Neill watched as Daniel went quickly into the building.  He debated on going after him, but turned and walked slowly to his truck.  He was going to have to corner Sam about this.  Daniel was trying, she however, was not.

 

***

 

For the next three weeks, Daniel did work with his therapist.  His speech was getting better, but he still couldn’t form complete sentences when he spoke in English.  His sessions with Jordan were still hard on him emotionally.  The psyche doctor was having Daniel pull out memories from his time in the system as a child.  Jordan had told him that by working through these, he would be able to work through the more resent tragedies that seem to plague the archeologist.

 

The problem was, as Daniel began to unload those terrible formative years, the nightmares began again.  The only person that he took comfort in was Kacee  She seemed to understand even more then Jordan.  However, she was still an enigma to Daniel.  And to top it off, he was beginning to feel stronger for the petite woman.  Feelings he knew he shouldn’t have if he wanted to get back together with Sam.  But he wondered if she wanted to him back.  That was the other problem present in his life right now, the very apparent lack of interest from Sam.  She still hadn’t been to see him.  Jack told him she was really busy with work, but Daniel knew it was because of him.

 

He did get a letter, and after he read it, Daniel crumpled it up and threw it away.  When Kacee asked why, he only shrugged.  She pressed him for an answer and he retrieved the letter, holding it out to her.

 

Kacee could understand why he chucked it.  It was basically a form letter.  No feelings or endearments anywhere.  That made her angrier then she had been in a very long time.  How could someone who claimed to love Daniel, do this to him.  Her heart was aching for this man, and she knew it was impossible for many reasons.  She was going to have to put some distance between them, and soon.

 

After a few consoling words to her friend, Kacee left.  She took off was gone for almost four hours.  Daniel was beside himself when she didn’t show up for dinner.  Jordan told him that when she gets really angry or upset, she would go off on these hikes to help clear her head.  It was her way of dealing.  Daniel couldn’t begrudge her that.  His way of dealing was to immerse himself in a good book or a hard translation.  At least it use to be.  Now his way of dealing was hitting things, hurting himself.  Or now, thanks to Kacee, going out and skating the pond and firing pucks at a net.

 

When Kacee got back, she was met at the door by a very worried Daniel.  He wrapped her in a tight embrace, shocking her.  When he pulled away, she noticed the fear and panic in his eyes.  That was something she was totally unprepared for.

 

He led her into the library and sat her down.  Biting his lip, he paced in front of her while he gathered his words.

 

“Cee,” he began quietly, “you rrrr …really sssscared mmme.  Thought lllllost… mmmy frr … frr … friend.”

 

“I’m sorry, Daniel,” she told him, “I just needed to get out for a little while.”

 

Silence lingered for a few moments.  Then Kacee went to close the door.  She turned back to Daniel and took him by the hand, leading him their spot on the floor in front of the fireplace.  They usually spent their quiet times with each other there.  Both of them love to read or write for hours at a time and they would always be together doing this.

 

Kacee leaned back on the sofa and sighed.  She turned to face Daniel and gave him a very small smile.

 

“I know a lot about you, Daniel,” she began, “not everything, but a lot.  Now I’m going to let you know a little about me… if you want.”

 

Daniel did want to know more about her.  She intrigued him to no end.  But he also knew that there was definite pain in her past, and he wasn’t sure if he should ask her to dredge it up.

 

“Only… if you want me tttttto… know,” his slight stutter made her smile.  She knew he was wrestling with wanting to know and not wanting to pry.

 

Nodding her head, she began, “I was orphaned at the age of five when my parents were murdered in a bank robbery that went bad.  I, like you, was bounced around in the foster system for most of my childhood.

 

“At age eleven, I got lucky and ended up in a home that eventually adopted me.  That time of my life was wonderful, like a real family.  I had two adopted brothers that treated me as if I was really their sister.  No abuse, no trauma… a real family.  We lived just outside city limits on a small farm.

 

“When I was twenty, I decided to follow in my adopted father and older brothers’ footsteps and joined the Air Force.  It was great, I love being in the service.  My adoptive parents had passed, while I was in Basic Training.  Dad from a heart attack, Mom had breast cancer.  I immersed myself into being the best Tactical Aircraft Maintenance Airman I could be.  I loved working on the big planes!

 

“When I was sent to Afghanistan, I was stationed on the same base as my brothers.  My oldest brother was in TACP— that’s Tactical Air Control Party Specialist, and the other one was in a Military Working Dog handler.  He and his partner would go out with SAR teams.

 

“One night, I had the base CO come into my tent and sit down.  I knew the look on his face.  Something had happened to one of my brothers.”

 

Kacee stopped.  Her face was pale and her eyes were filling with tears.  Daniel scooted over and pulled her into a hug.  Rubbing his hands up and down her arm, he waited for her to settle down.  After a few minutes, she continued.

 

“It turned out, that both of them had been killed by a roadside IED.  They were on different search and rescue missions but ended up in the same area taking enemy fire.  When they were told to bug out, in the confusion ended up in the same Humvee.  Everyone was killed.

 

“The worst part… my fiancé was driving,  I hadn’t even known he was out in the field,”  Kacee sobbed as she relived that moment.  Daniel just held her tight and rocked her gently.

 

Wiping her face on the sleeve of her shirt, she gave a soft, humorless laugh, “I lost everyone I loved in one fell swoop.  They sent be stateside when I wouldn’t respond to anyone.  I just shut down.  It was like when I was a kid and my parents were suddenly just… not there anymore.

 

“Anyway, that’s why I’m a lone wolf.  The people that I… start to love end up dead.  I can’t let that happen to you, Daniel.  And I can’t stop my feelings for you.  I know you have someone, but I can’t help that I’m falling for you,”  she looked away and said softly, “I’m leaving, Daniel.”

 

Daniel reeled in shock. “Wwwa… what?!”

 

She couldn’t look at him knowing she would lose her resolve, “I shouldn’t have let myself, but damn…  you are so caring, handsome and strong, in a vulnerable sort of way.  I need to get out of your way and you need to fight for your Sam.  She needs to know that you still want her forgiveness.  And if you guys just end up friends, at least you gave it your best shot and she’ll be the poorer of losing you.”

 

Tears were streaming down Daniel’s face.  He didn’t want to lose Kacee  She was really the only one that was helping.  Why did all the people he valued leave him?  Kacee took his face in her hands and looked him in the eye.

 

“I’m not leaving until after Christmas.  You need to work on getting back to your friends and job.  I need to find a life for myself.  This will be best, Daniel.  Please understand.”

 

He nodded dejectedly.  He knew she was right.  He was suppose to be working on getting better for Sam.  But it was hard when she didn’t even want to come and see him.  Hell, the only letter he had received wasn’t exactly a note of encouragement.  No endearments or questions on how he was doing … nothing.

 

His feelings for Kacee were really starting make him question his love for Sam.  Maybe this was a good thing… but he didn’t like it one bit!

 

***

 

Christmas morning came with a light snow, and the few members of The Center that were staying in for the holiday, were gathered for breakfast. When the front door banged shut, Kacee went to see who had come in.

 

When she came back, she was followed by a visitor.  Jordan looked up and smiled, greeting her warmly, “Merry Christmas!”

 

The visitor smiled and nodded to him, then turned her attention to the person she was there to see.

 

“Daniel,” Sam quietly said.

 

He froze, closing his eyes and steadying his breathing.  He didn’t want to turn around and find that this was only his imagination.

 

Sam placed a hand on his shoulder and he started to shake.  It had been so long since he last felt that touch.

 

“Daniel,” she said again, “can we go somewhere to talk, please?”

 

The archeologist slowly rose and walked out of the kitchen with Sam on his heels.  He glanced at Kacee on his way by and saw both great hope and a sadness.  Daniel took Sam to the library and shut the door.  He indicated for her to sit on the sofa by the fireplace.  Sam noted that he had yet to even look at her.  She felt that he was punishing her for the distance she’d been keeping.

 

“Daniel, please come and sit with me.  We really need to talk.”

 

Reluctantly he sat down.  His leg was shaking and he was wringing his hands together fiercely.  Sam watched his agitation was ashamed.  She knew it was mostly her fault.  She also knew it wasn’t going to get any better after she told him what she had to.

 

With a great effort, Sam spoke quietly, “Daniel, will you look at me please?”

 

He glanced up at her, giving her a quick smile.  She was sad to see the pain in his eyes.  The pain she was causing.  Trying to open on a friendly note, she decided to comment about The Center.

 

“This is a nice place.  Do you like it here?”

 

Daniel shrugged and mumbled, “S’okay.”

 

This was harder then she planed. Sam tried again.

 

“When did you grow the mustache?”

 

“Fffff, few wwweek  ‘go,” the monotone answer came.

 

“Mmmm,” Sam looked down at her hands now.

 

Daniel looked at her fully, “What… wwwant… ttta, talk ‘bout?”

 

Sam sighed.  She really didn’t want to do this, but she felt it was for the best.  When Jack told her that she really needed to investigate her feelings towards Daniel or let him go, she was pissed.  After thinking about it for the weekend, she knew it was still too soon for her.  She still needed time and Jack was right.

 

She began, “I’m really happy you’re doing better, Daniel, but I… don’t know if,” she trailed off with a soft sob.

 

“You… nnno… wwwant… mmme aaa… aaany… more, rrrright?” Daniel finished for her.

 

Shaking her head she answered, “It’s not you, it’s me.  Really.  I just need some more time.  I do love you, Daniel… but what happened with the… baby, I’m just having a very hard time coming to grips with… us.”

 

Daniel’s head dropped and his shoulders hunched.  He was trying to ball himself up while still sitting on the couch.  As he rocked little whimpers escaped now and then.  Sam’s heart was breaking.  She really did love him and want to be with him, she just didn’t know how.

 

“Daniel, I’m going to be taking an assignment on Atlantis.”

 

His head shot up with surprise, tears filling his eyes.  “Bbbbut… thought… wwwe… cccould… bbbe gggrroup… ttto, together.  Wwwork… t’is all out.”

 

“I know, Daniel.  Jack told me that was what you wanted to do,” She whispered, “I just can’t do it yet.”

 

Daniel jumped up and started pacing.  His head was spinning.  All this work he was doing was for her.  Now she was basically telling him that she didn’t care and that made him angry.

 

“Ffffine!” he turned on her. He wanted to make himself speak without the stutter, to let her know how hurt he was by all the silence, distance and now this.  But when he was excited or angry, he couldn’t get the words out.  In English, that is.

 

With as much emotion he could let out and still speak, he let her have it with both barrels… all in the ancient tongue.