Two weeks after Daniel awoke from the coma; Sam was unsure if he would ever truly be back to being the Daniel she knew and loved.

 

There had been considerable blood loss and his brain had be deprived of oxygen for several minutes, causing hypoxic-anoxia.  But Sam wouldn’t entertain the idea of brain damage.  Not Daniel.  Not this brilliant man.

 

Now that he was awake, she could no longer brush aside the fact that he may indeed, never fully recover.  She tried her absolute best never to let him see the sadness or fear she had for him, feeling it would be detrimental to his recovery.

 

The first few days were awkward for her.  Trying to teach a grown and somewhat obstinate man how to feed himself, proved more difficult than her Air Force basic training.  She had to help him move his hands to hold a fork, teach him to drink from a cup and worst of all, how to relieve himself without making a mess.  Sam knew after the first day of this, why she never had any interest in going into medicine.  But for Daniel, the love of her heart and soul, she would walk over burning coals barefoot.

 

Though it was slow going, there were small victories.  Daniel seemed to recognize Sam now.  The doctor, however, told her that may only be because she was there all the time, and not from before his injury.  It took all the will power she had not to strangle the doctor where he stood.

 

Daniel’s muscle control was improving slowly.  The day that Sam walked into his room and he gave her a shy smile first time, she burst into tears.  Feeling bad when she realized that, that had scared him, Sam spent the rest of the day reassuring him that his smile was the most wonderful thing that she had seen in a long time.

 

From that day on, there were even more progress.  Sam was elated when Daniel identified all the letters of the alphabet with his occupational therapist.  It seemed like such a trivial thing for a linguist, but Sam knew that this was a big step in his recovery.  He still wasn’t talking, which bothered her, but the doctor assured that he would speak when he was ready.

 

Physically Daniel was getting stronger.  He began walking with minimal assistance, plus dressing and feeding himself with no help at all.  As a month and a half passed since Daniel woke up, Sam began to seriously consider moving back to Colorado and taking General O’Neill up on his offer of rejoining the SGC.

 

She was now four months pregnant and in real need of her friends.  Working with Daniel was taking its toll on her.  She was not gaining the weight that she needed to be and her doctor was adamant that she sleep more.

 

Daniel was to be one of the first patients at the new Air Force Academy Mental and Behavioral Center.  It was a facility created primarily for soldiers suffering from PTSD and other mental trauma, and was on the Air Force Academy grounds so it was close to the Cheyenne Mountain complex.  It was a state of the art facility staffed with personal that knew how to work with veterans and the hurt that war causes.

 

After final arrangements were made with the military and all the security measures taken into account, Sam told Daniel that they were going home.  She wasn’t really sure if he understood her, but when she started packing away his belongings, his mood changed.

 

Daniel was confused and scared.  He began to withdraw and was very irritable.  Sam would tell him every day that they were going back to where his friends were waiting for him.  Back to one of the few places he had actually called home.

 

Daniel was reluctant to leave as the rehabilitation center was the only place he really knew.  He liked his physical and occupational therapist, and he would sit outside for hours on the center grounds coloring.  Daniel had been an excellent artist and Sam hoped the coloring was a sign that his ability would returned.

 

The day of the move, Sam came into a scene of chaos.  Daniel was tearing his room apart.  He was throwing anything he could get his hands on to.  The noises that came from him were feral.

 

Sam rushed in to try and calm him down.  There was already one orderly with a bloody nose.  The doctor was getting ready to sedate Daniel.  Sam had hoped that they wouldn’t have to resort to that.  When she walked in, she went right up to Daniel and grabbed his face.

 

“Daniel!” she said sternly, “Calm down.”

 

For an instant he froze.  His eyes wild and frightened.  Letting out an unearthly howl he shoved Sam away from him hard.  As she hit the ground the orderlies took advantage of his being off balanced.  Rushing him, they knocked Daniel to the floor and the doctor was able to administer the sedative.

 

“Don’t hurt him!”  Sam screamed.

 

A nurse came in and helped Sam up.  A nice bruise was already forming on the side of her head where she had fallen into an upturned table.

 

Regaining her feet, Sam quickly went to Daniel’s side.  He was huddled in the corner, whimpering and digging his fingernails into his arm.  Tears were streaming down his face.  As Sam knelt down beside him, she reached out to stop his scratching.

 

“Daniel,” She whispered, “it will be alright.  I’m going with you.  We’re going home, baby.  Everything will be fine, I promise.”

 

Daniel wouldn’t look her in the eyes.  Swaying his head like a wounded animal, he continued to whimper.  Sam took his face in her hands to still him.

Her touch seemed to do the trick.  Between the sedative and her hands, he finally calmed down enough for an orderly to help him up.  Sam led him to the waiting wheelchair and gently lowered him in.  When the orderlies started to put restraints on his arms she looked up at them in shock.

 

“What are you doing?!”

 

“It’s for his own good, Dr. Carter,” the physician told her.

 

“How could this possible be good for him?”  Sam knew deep down that it was probably for the best, but she wouldn’t bring herself to admit it.  She had flashbacks of a few other times Daniel had to be put in restraints.

 

Once, when he had become addicted to the affects of a Goa’uld sarcophagus and was forced to quit cold turkey.  Then at another time, all of them, including herself, thought he had become schizophrenic.  And later, he had twelve separate personalities downloaded into his head and one of them was quite violent.

 

“Dr. Carter… Samantha.  What would happen if he suddenly lost control while you were in flight?  Dr. Jackson may look like he is recovering quickly, but that is only the physical aspect.  He’s not doing as well… mentally or emotionally.”

 

The doctor’s tone was one of concern for Sam, but in her mind, the words that were ringing in deafening clarity were; not doing as well mentally or emotionally.

 

With a nod to the nurses, indicating to take Daniel out, he told them, “Get his arm cleaned up and make sure that the med kit has more sedative for their trip.”

 

The young doctor then ushered Sam to the only chair that wasn’t overturned.  He righted a stool and sat in front of her.  With a deep sigh, he began to tell her exactly what Daniel was going through.

 

“Samantha, what Daniel is experiencing is called Broca’s Aphasia.  The type he seems to be experiencing is called non-fluent aphasia.  Some people that have had damage to the frontal lobe of the brain often have this problem.  They frequently speak in short phrases that make sense but are produced with great effort.  They sometimes omit small words such as is, and, and the.  For instance, he may say, Walk dog, meaning, I will take the dog for a walk, or book book two table, for There are two books on the table.  People with Broca's aphasia usually understand the speech of others reasonably well.  Because of this, they are often aware of their difficulties and can become easily frustrated and are more prone to depression.  Daniel is aware of his deficiencies, but can’t do anything about them.

 

“With a traumatic brain injury like his, behavior problems will also surface.  Sudden acts of aggression towards himself or others, explosive anger, non-compliance, even tantrums and crying.  Daniel is showing signs of depression, paranoia, agitation, and insomnia that are very common with TBI.”

 

Seeing the misery on Sam’s face, the doctor spoke again, “There is still a chance he will recover a good portion of his former abilities.  But in truth, Samantha, I really wouldn’t give it any more than 1 in 1,000 probability.  I am truly sorry, but you need to understand… this is going to be a very hard recovery for him… and you.”

 

***

 

As Sam rethought all the information the doctor had told her, the ambulance ride to the airport passed quickly.  Daniel was asleep on the gurney beside her, and she smiled at him.  His face was calm, peaceful, almost angelic.  He looked like a child, resting without a care in the world.  She knew it was the sedative.  Still, it was nice to watch him sleep.  Away from all the troubles and worries.  If only she could do that too.

 

Once at the airport, they were transferred to a private C-130 troop carrier, complements of General O’Neill.  On board, another surprise greeted her.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, this is your Capitan speaking.  I would like to welcome you on board the USAF 61-373 C-130E “City of Jackson”.  We will be leaving shortly for the wild blue yonder.  Please make sure your seatbelts are fastened and trays are in the upright and locked position.  We will be arriving in Colorado Springs in approximately two hours.  Sit back, relax, and enjoy some peanuts.”

 

The familiar voice of Jack O’Neill warmed Sam’s heart.  She headed to the cockpit to see him.  When she got there, not only was Jack flying, but Cameron Mitchell was co-pilot.  Laughing, she hugged both men.

 

“I’m so happy to see you guys!”

 

Jack grinned at her, “You think I would let you in a plane with just any old flyboy?  Not a chance!”

 

“Besides, he’s been itchin’ to get behind the stick of a good old fashion, run of the mill, aircraft again,” Mitchell smirked.

 

“Oh, yeah.  It’s such a pain in the ass to fly those alien hybrid, interstellar pieces of crap,” Carter replied with a laugh.  Yet another thing she missed greatly.  Pushing the limit in an F-302.

 

“We’ve got clearance to take off.  Better go and strap in.  Make sure Danny Boy is locked up tight also,” Jack told Sam.

 

She nodded and headed to the back.  Pulling on the straps that held Daniel’s stretcher in place, Sam sat down beside him, taking his hand in hers,

“Here we go, Danny.  We’ll be home soon.”

 

The first part of the trip was uneventful.  Jack came back and sat with her for awhile.  They spoke about her return to the SGC.  He couldn’t wait to have her back in the fold.

 

Throwing an arm over her shoulders and giving Sam a friendly squeeze, Jack smiled warmly at her.  Neither of them noticed that they were being watched by a pair of angry blue eyes.

 

Sam questioned him about the arrangements he made for Daniel.

 

“You guys will be staying on base for a week or two.  I’ve got three rooms for you to share.  One as your living quarters, another for Daniel’s therapy, and the last one just for him to bum around in.”

 

“The new Center isn’t ready yet?”

 

“It’s close, they just haven’t gotten all the permits yet.  Daniel will have a recovery team on base for him.  Maybe some of them will move to the center also once he’s moved to that facility, I'm not sure.”

 

“That sounds gre…”

 

A shear, agonized howl sliced through the air, causing both O’Neill and Carter to jump.  They saw Daniel thrashing and kicking at his restraints.  He screamed as he tried with all his strength to break free of the straps.

 

Fearing he was going to hurt himself, Jack grabbed the struggling man by the shoulders, as Sam went for the med kit.  She extracted one of the sedative shots and went back to the men.

 

“Daniel!” O’Neill shouted, still trying to hold him down.  He couldn’t believe how strong Jackson still was after waking from a two-month coma.  He guessed the physical aspects of his recovery were right on track.  Jack had to put some serious muscle into keeping him still.

 

“Any time now, Carter!” he yelled.

 

Unfortunately, Jack got his arm to close to Daniel’s face.  The next moment, General O’Neill howled out in pain as his distraught friend bit down on his forearm.

 

“Carter!”

 

Sam shoved the needle in none to gently, and Daniel yipped but did not release his jaw’s hold on Jack’s arm.  Blood seeped down his chin.

 

“Carter, get’im off me!  I need this arm!” Jack snarled through clenched teeth.

 

“I already gave him the shot, sir,” she answered him.

 

Turning her attention back to Daniel, Sam whispered close to his ear, “Daniel, shhh.  Let go.  Come on Danny… let go of Jack’s arm.”

 

With a low whimper, Daniel unclenched his jaw releasing O’Neill’s arm.  As Jack pulled away with a quiet curse, the younger man shook his head and started crying.

 

The noises he made had Sam shudder.  She listened to him, thinking it sounded like he was trying to say something.  Taking Daniel’s hand, Sam brushed a tear off his cheek.  He looked her in the eyes pleadingly.

 

“It’s okay, Daniel,” she choked out, “we will be home soon.  Do you understand?”

 

Her lover gazed into her face with a sad child-like expression.  Daniel nodded his answer.  She watched as his eyes began to lose focus.  The sedative was kicking in finally.

 

Slowly raising his hand, pulling the restraints as far as they could go, he brushed the back of his fingers against Sam’s jaw line.  Eyes clearing, Daniel tried to convey his heart to her.  Knitting his eyebrows together in concentration, he opened his mouth and whispered, “’am.”

 

Sam’s look of utter surprise was quickly replaced with absolute joy.

 

“Oh, Daniel…” she sobbed, and leaning in to kiss him.  She noticed the metallic taste of blood and pulled away to see that Daniel had fallen asleep.  She smoothed his hair off his forehead and wiped the drying blood from his chin.  Straightening up and with a soft glance at the now peaceful archeologist, Sam left to talk with O’Neill.

 

***

 

Jack was back in the cockpit with the first aid kit on his lap.  Mitchell watched him out of the corner of his eye.  The wound on Jack’s arm looked pretty bad.

 

“You okay there, General?”

 

“Mmmm.  Minor mosquito bite,” O’Neill grumbled.

 

“Ah huh, sure,” Mitchell replied.  “Damn big mosquito, sir.”

 

“Yeah, well…” Jack hissed in pain as he wiped an alcohol pad a crossed his arm.  “That boy must be part pit-bull.”

 

After a minute or two, Mitchell looked at Jack, “You really think Jackson’s gonna be okay on base, sir?  I know it won’t be for long, but…”

 

“What could happen?” O’Neill asked.

 

Breathing out a heavy sigh, the southern Colonel responded, “Well, with alarms going off and general chaos pretty much a norm, I just figured he would… you know… freak-out.”

 

“I guess we’ll see,” Jack grumbled.  He didn’t want to admit that he may have made a serious mistake.  He also didn’t want to disappoint Carter.

 

Right then Sam appeared next to the two pilots.  She noted Jack’s arm and reach for it, “Sir, are you alright?  I didn’t realize he had gotten you that bad.”

 

Jack pulled his arm away from her, “I’m fine,” he said, and turned to face her, “What happened?  Why’d he go all whacko?”

 

Sam flinched slightly by his tone.  She looked down, trying to think of how to put Daniel’s state of mind into words.

 

“I think it’s because he didn’t know where he was.  It scared him,” Sam glanced at her former CO.  “Sir, this will happen from time to time.  Daniel is not… he’s not totally in control of himself.  The doctor told me that there have been… well behavior issues with him.”

 

Jack’s head snapped around, “WHAT?!” he yelled, “And you were going to tell me this when?  Jesus, Carter!  I’ve hung my ass out there to let him stay on base until the Center was ready.  If Daniel goes postal before we get him there, we’re toast!

 

“The only way I could get the higher ups to agree to this whole thing, was because I thought he was under control with, you know, meds and stuff!”

 

Sam felt as if she was going to sick.  So happy to be going back to Cheyenne Mountain half an hour ago, now she wasn’t sure if it was a good idea.

 

“Jack, you know how he feels about medication.  He’s on the smallest doses.  They hadn’t had much trouble with him until recently.  And I didn’t know about the other complications until this morning.”

 

“Complications?  There’s more than just behavioral?”

 

Letting out a long sigh, Carter told O’Neill everything the doctor related to her earlier.

 

“MacKenzie’s going to have a field day with Daniel,” Jack mumbled.

 

***

 

The rest of the trip was quiet.  Sam wondered how Daniel was going to react when they descended into the mountain.  It was very late when the truck pulled into the SGC.  Daniel woke up right as they entered the mountain.  With a wild eyed look, he balled up into the fetal position as much as the restraints would let him.  Sam continually ran her hand through his hair, whispering to him.

 

After all the security checks, they were on their way down into the mountain.  Surprisingly, as soon as the elevator doors opened and Daniel was pushed into the familiar hallways, he began to relax.  Sam watched him closely, looking for any signs that he was going to panic.  Instead, he gazed all around, a slight smile on his face.

 

Sam was delighted by this.  Maybe by bringing him home, he would begin to recover even more.  Several of the SGC personal stopped and greeted Sam and Daniel.  She was hugging so many people that her ribs ached.  By the time they reached the quarters that O’Neill set aside for them, half of the night crew on base was there.

 

“All right people!” General O’Neill called over the crowd, “don’t you all have work to do?”

 

With a murmur of disappointment, they dispersed.

 

Once safely enclosed in the room, Sam unhooked Daniel’s restraints.  Smiling, he jumped off the stretcher and wondered around the room, touching everything he could.  Jack watched him with an amused look on his face.

 

“He’s happy.” O’Neill commented.

 

“Yeah.  More than I have seen in a long time.”

 

Many of Daniel’s personal belongings that had be left at the SGC were in the room.  He spotted a photo of Sha’re.  Carefully picking it up, he studied it.  One finger traced her face.  Turning to Sam, he walked over to her and held it out for her to take.

 

“It’s Sha’re, Daniel.  Do you remember her?” she asked apprehensively.

 

The archeologist nodded with a sad look in his eyes.  He tapped the photograph, then himself.

 

Sam knew what he meant, “Yes, she was your wife.”

 

Again, he stared at the photo.  When he looked back up to Sam, she saw tears in his eyes.  Daniel touched the image and then touched the back of his neck.

 

Both Jack and Sam stared at him in stunned silence.  He even remembered what had happened to her.  Turning away, Daniel put the picture back on the shelf.

 

“I sure didn’t expect that,” Jack whispered.

 

Sam nodded in agreement, “Me neither.  The doctor said some memories would come back to him easier than others.  I guess the bad ones stay with us more vividly than the good.”

 

Daniel went back to searching every nook and cranny.  He would occasionally bring things to Sam and Jack like a kid in a toy store.  He was so excited; his two friends couldn’t help but laugh.

 

The General excused himself a short time later, leaving the couple alone.  Sam was very tired and sat down on the bed.  However, Daniel, having slept most of the trip, was wired.  He was just about bouncing off the walls.  She watched him with utter amazement.  There was such a difference from just that morning to now.  Like he was back in his element.

 

Daniel looked over to Sam and saw her yawning.  He walked over and sat down on the bed a little ways away from her.  Looking him in the eyes, she swore that it was the old Daniel gazing back at her.  He smiled shyly as Sam took his hand in hers.

 

“Are you happy to be here, Daniel?” she whispered.

 

Grinning, he nodded his answer.  Then he pointed at her with a quizzical look.

 

“Yes, very happy,” she replied.  “But I’m even happier to be with you.  I’ve really missed you.”

 

This was the first moment that she and Daniel were totally alone with each other.  She leaned in close to snuggle up with him, when he jumped away.  Looking like he had just received jolt of electricity, he ran to a corner and curled up on the floor shaking.

 

“Daniel, I’m sorry,” Sam ran over to him and kneeled down.

 

She had forgotten that they had not even hugged since he awoke.  The nurses told her that it might frighten him to be enclosed that intimately.  Holding hands and petting was how she made physical contact with him the whole time he was at the old center.

 

“I didn’t mean to scare you.  I…” her voice caught in her throat.  “I just wanted to have you hold me again.”

 

Sam tried to touch him, but he shrank farther back against the wall, whimpering.  One minute he was just fine, and now… Sam’s heart was tearing apart.  She was just too tired to work it out with him now.

 

In a whisper she said, “I’m sorry, Daniel.  Please forgive me.”  She got up and went to the bed.  Kicking off her shoes, she crumpled down on top of the blankets, fully clothed, and quietly murmured, “Goodnight, Danny.”

 

Sam was asleep before she could count to three.

 

Daniel stayed huddled in the corner for a long time, watching her sleep.  He rocked back and forth, hugging himself and chewing on his lip.  Eyes darting around like a caged wolf, he tried desperately to think of why he was scared of her hugging him.  He knew her touch.  He knew that he liked it when she held his hand.  But she had not been with him at night… in the same room… with only one bed.  Somewhere in the vastness of his mind a notion that he belonged to her flitted just out of reach.

 

The more he tried to focus, the more confused he got.  He didn’t like that.  What was going on?  Why couldn’t he pull all the images together?  Groaning in frustration, Daniel began to bang his head against the wall behind him.  His face screwed up with emotions, as he searched for clarity.

Images came and went with frightening speed.  Things that he knew were from his life, but still seemed to be unfamiliar.  Then a face settled at the forefront of his mind.  Sam’s face.  Her eyes sparkling blue and filled with love.  She was looking right at him, behind his closed eyes.  He could almost feel her touch on his face.

 

All of a sudden he stilled.  Opening his eyes, he cocked his head to one side.  Samantha.  He loved her.  Like a flash of light, it hit him.  Yes… he loved her and she loved him.  He remembered her arms around him… holding him close.  The feel of her naked skin on his.  The sensation of her tongue plumbing the depths of his mouth.

 

Daniel slowly stood up and inched his way over to the sleeping woman.  Listening to her breath and watching her chest rise and fall with each inhale, exhale, it was familiar.  He carefully sat down on the edge of the bed, still watching… studying.  Something inside his body was pushing him to touch her.

 

With painfully slow moves, Daniel reached out and caressed Sam’s shoulder.  She stirred slightly, but did not wake up.  Smiling, and feeling a little braver, he gently ran his fingers through her hair.

 

Yes!  He knew this.  He knew that this was right and it felt good.  Encouraged by his own boldness, Daniel decided to lie down next to her.  As soon as he was prone, Sam rolled over and nestled up against his side throwing an arm a crossed his waist.  Hesitating for a moment, he closed his eyes and let his primal instincts take over.  Daniel wrapped his arms around her, holding her close.

 

With a sigh, he relaxed in the sensation of peace and contentment.  This, he remembered as one of his favorite places to be.  No longer afraid, Daniel nuzzled his nose in the crook of her neck.  Inhaling deeply, her scent reawakened many of his memories and sensations.  The warmth that was flowing through his body made him ache.

 

Softly, he brushed Sam’s bangs away from her eyes.  Still gazing at her intently, he tried to say her name.

 

“’am,” his voice hoarse with disuse.

 

Sam’s eyes blinked open.  Surprised that she was wrapped tightly in Daniel’s arms, she gasped.  She looked up and saw the boldness on his face.  His eyes were so blue; it seemed as if they were luminescent.

 

“Daniel?” she whispered.

 

Giving her a small smile and whispered back, “’am.”

 

Sam couldn’t hold back.  She leaned forward and gently kissed him on the mouth.  Daniel stiffened slightly but gave into the wonderful sensation.  A second later, Sam’s tongue was brushing his lips.  With instinct taking control, he let her deepen the kiss.

 

When she pulled away, she smiled at him.  He still had a look of confusion on his face and a small pout.

 

“God, Daniel,” she whispered, “you’re adorable.”

 

Sam stood to change into sleeping clothes.  Daniel watched her, head cocked to one side.  He had a look of someone studying for a test as she remove her cloths.  As she removed an article of clothing, Daniel  followed suit with his own.  Pants, socks, shirt.  As Sam put one of his old tee-shirts on as a nightgown, she had to laugh at his look of confusion.  In one hand he held the shirt he just took off.

 

“You don’t have to wear a shirt, Daniel.  You’re a boy. Understand?”

 

Not entirely comprehending, he just dropped the garment on the floor.  Sam giggled as she turned the blankets down on the bad and motioned him to get under them.  Watching closely, he matched her movements until they were both snuggled in together.  She kissed him lightly and turned the lights off.  Feeling his warm, strong body next to hers, made her heart sing as the exhaustion of the day overtook her.

 

Daniel felt that having her in his arms, her head resting on his chest was right where they were supposed to be, and taking comfort in her nearness, he too fell asleep.

 

***

 

The night was just not long enough.  All too soon, reality burst in on them in a big way.  Outside their room, the klaxon sounded an unscheduled off-world activation.  The noise sent Daniel into hysterics.

 

Leaping from the bed, he ran to the furthest corner and slid down the wall.  Screaming in terror, he covered his ears.  A moment later, Jack came into the room, figuring the alarm would have set his friend off.  Sam was rapidly pulling a shirt on as she ran to Daniel.

 

Jack quickly closed the door as he noticed the state of semi-undress the archeologist was in.  He approached the couple cautiously.  Sam was trying to get her arms around Daniel to hold him.  At her touch, he roared and lashed out at her sending her flying.  Jack was there instantly, grabbing the crazed man’s arms and turning him around.  The General had no other choice then to put him in a chokehold, trying to restrain him from hurting anyone.

 

“Carter, get a sedative!” he shouted.

 

“I don’t have another one!”  Her voice was close to panic.  Getting up, she ran to the phone and called the infirmary.  Jack spoke to Daniel soothingly, but never letting his grip falter.

 

“Shhhh, Danny.  It’s okay.  Just a little wake-up call.”

 

Daniel fought hard against the restraining arms of his former CO.  But in the end, the older man had too strong a hold on him.  Not meaning too, Jack ended up choking him into unconsciousness.  Slumping to the floor, he released Daniel and rolled him over, checking his pulse.

 

With a ragged breath, he looked over to Carter and nodded, “He’s alright.  I didn’t think I had that tight a hold on him.”

 

Dr. Lam came in and knelt down to inspect her patient.

 

“What happened?” she asked looking at General O’Neill.

 

“When the alarm went off… so did he.  Carter didn’t have any sedative shots.  I kind’a put him in a choke hold.”

Looking slightly miffed, Dr. Lam motioned for the interns to come in and get Daniel onto the gurney.

 

“I’ll take him to the infirmary and make sure there is no lasting damage.  I’ll give him a mild sedative, just to be on the safe side.  And he will be restrained until I feel he is no longer a danger to himself… or others.”

 

On her way out of the room, the CMO sternly glared at Jack, “Next time, General, don’t squeeze so hard.”

 

With a wry smile he nodded at her.  After the medical staff was gone, Jack turned to Sam.  He walked over and rested his hand on her shoulder.

 

“You need to go to the infirmary also, Carter.  He tossed you pretty hard.”

 

She merely shrugged.

 

“Judging by the state of nearly undressed you both were in, I’m guessing your night was okay?”

 

Distracted, she muttered, “We, ah… we really just held each other.  It was nice.  Like before…”

 

“Sam, I’ve been thinking all night… maybe you should… not stay here,” he suggested.

 

She looked up at him in shock, “One incident on our first night back and you’re kicking us out?”

 

Shaking his head, he stepped back a ways, “Not Daniel.  Just you.  I think you should maybe get that apartment for yourself now instead of waiting for when he goes to the Center.  That way you’ll have a place where you can get away from,” waving his hand about, “all this.  The stress of taking care of Daniel can’t be good for the baby.”

 

“What about him?  He won’t understand.”

 

“Look, he has his own private staff of therapist and doctors.  They’re going to be here later this morning to discuss his schedule and goals.  Someone will be with him at all times until we can move him.  I just think it would be best for you to… give him room and time to adjust to being here.”

 

Sam slumped onto the bed.  Even with the night she and Daniel had just shared, she knew that Jack was probably right.  The doctor in Oregon told her the only reason he was willing to release Daniel in her care, was because the new Center was going to be a great fit for his recovery, but that Daniel was far from being okay.  She just kept wishing for a quick fix so she could have him back.

 

Seeing the wisdom of Jack’s idea, she conceded.  “You know, I really hate it when you decide you’re not going to play dumb General.”

 

“I’ll try never to come up with a good idea again, Carter,” O’Neill smiled.  “Now, get dressed… you’re really turning me on.”

 

With a sly grin, he walked out, closing the door behind him.

 

***

 

When Sam entered the briefing room, she noticed Dr. MacKenzie right away.  Giving the doctor a tight-lipped smile, she walked into Jack’s office without even knocking.  Carter closed the door and turned on the General in a rage.

 

“What the hell is he doing here?!” she hissed through clenched teeth.

 

Jack looked her in the eye and calmly stated, “I told you yesterday that MacKenzie was going to be here.  He’s heading up the team that will be working with Daniel while he's here, BUT…” Jack held up a finger to silence the furious woman, “he will not be working directly with Daniel.”

 

Still seething, Sam nodded curtly.  “Understand this, General, if Dr. MacKenzie even thinks of doping Daniel or tries to have him moved to his mental hospital again, there will be a world of hurt for both him AND you.”

 

With that, she turned around and went back into the briefing room.  Letting out a long breath, Jack contemplated the wrath of Carter.  It wasn’t pretty.

The meeting went well, even with Sam casting glaring looks at Dr. MacKenzie from time to time.  She had to acknowledge his expertise, whether she liked it or not. 

 

After the meeting adjourned, Sam went to see Daniel.  She was surprised when she entered the infirmary.  Daniel was sitting on his bed with a chessboard between him and Cameron.  Both men were studying the pieces on the grid very carefully.  She quietly sidled up to them.  Cam glanced up to her and smiled.

 

“He’s beating the pants off me.”

 

“Nothing wrong with that brain,” she remarked.  Sam ruffled Daniel’s hair playfully, “Personally, I think he’s just playing us to get attention.  Huh, Danny?”

 

Without lifting his head, he looked up through his lashes at her and grinned.  So like his old self, Sam gave a tiny quiver.  She watched with a smile as Daniel cornered Mitchell’s king.

 

“Checkmate.  That’s the fourth game he’s trounced me,” Cam sighed.  “Whelp, I’ve had enough.  He’s all yours, Carter.”

 

The young colonel stood up to leave as Daniel set the board up for another game.  When he looked up, he saw Mitchell giving Sam a friendly hug.  Something snapped inside the archeologist.

 

With a roar, he lunged off the bed and ripped Cameron away from Sam.  Daniel began to hit the unfortunate man.  Mitchell shielded his head, not wanting to strike back at his friend.

 

“Daniel!  Stop!” Sam yelled.

 

By that time two airmen came in and tackled Daniel to the floor.  Dr. Lam rushed over and injected him with a shot.  Slowly, he eased his struggling.  Letting Jackson up, the airmen kept between the Colonel and archeologist.

 

Sam approached him cautiously.  Daniel was shaking his head and had tears running down his face.  He looked over to where Cam was being treated by a nurse.  Sorrow deepened the color of his eyes as he realized what he had done.

 

Turning back to Sam, he sagged into her arms, trying to voice his feelings.  The guttural sounds that issued from the once fluent linguist tore Sam apart.  He was trying so hard and it was always just out of reach.

 

Cam walked over to the couple and patted Daniel on the back.  Quietly he addressed his friend, “It’s okay, Jackson.  I understand.  I shouldn’t have…”

 

Mitchell stopped abruptly when Daniel turned and hugged him fiercely.  Stunned, Cam wasn’t sure what to do.  He looked to Sam for some help.  She arched her eyebrows and shrugged.

 

“It’s okay… um, we’re cool, Daniel.  I know you didn’t mean it,” he patted his distraught friend’s back.

 

Pulling away, Daniel wouldn’t look Cam in the eye.  Screwing up his face in concentration, he tried to force his mouth and voice to work.  He attempted several times before howling in frustration and beating his fists onto his own head.

 

Mitchell took hold of the anguished man’s arms to stop him, yelling to get his attention, “Stop it, Jackson.  Just take a deep breath, and calm down.  I can wait for whatever you have to say.  Just relax.”

 

Taking a few ragged breaths, Daniel leaned back against his bed.  He looked at Sam, then to Mitchell.  Again, he closed his eyes in concentration, chewed on his lower lip for a moment or two, then tried to speak.

 

“Sssss… sssss… orry,” Daniel took a gasping breath then looked at his friends.  The faces that stared back at him held both joy and shock.  Sam gave Daniel a tight hug as Cam clapped him on the back.

 

“That a’ boy, Jackson,” Cam whispered.  “You’re gonna get through this, I know it.”

 

***

 

Sam found a small-furnished apartment that she liked a few days later.  Making preparations to let Daniel know that she was no longer going to be staying the night with him was hard.  She just didn’t know how he was going to take the news.  Their nights had been better after the first night.  He would let her snuggle up with him but that was about all.  She really wasn’t sure how he would take this new arrangement.

 

Standing outside his therapy room, she took a deep breath and went in.  He was working with his audiologist.  When Daniel saw Sam come in, he jumped up and ran to her, picking her up and spinning around.

 

With a huge smile that reached all the way to his eyes, he took her face in his warm hands and said, “Sam… Carter.”

 

No stammer, no forcing the words to come, just Daniel’s clear, strong voice.

 

Sam couldn’t say anything.  Instead, she smiled back at him then leaned up and gave him a kiss.  Laughing and turning slightly red, Daniel bowed his head down.

 

“He’s been working very hard to be able to say your name without any trouble, Dr. Carter,” his therapist Brooke, told her.

 

“I could tell.  I’m very proud of you, Daniel,” Sam said.  “You’re doing so well.”

 

“Well, that’s enough for me today,” Brooke stated as she cleared off the table they were working at.  “I’ll see you tomorrow, Daniel.  You keep working on those ‘S’ sounds, okay?”

 

Nodding with a grin he replied, “S’o-kay”

 

Shaking her head in amusement, Brooke left.  Daniel turned to face Sam again; he saw that she looked sad.  Concerned, he went over to her and gently lifted her chin to face him.

 

“Sam?”

 

A small upward turn of her lips was all she could muster.  Taking a deep breath she pulled Daniel over to the chairs and both of them sat down facing each other.

 

“Daniel, I have to tell you something, and I don’t think you will like it,” she began.  “Promise me you will stay calm, okay?”

 

He nodded reluctantly.

 

“I’m moving off base, I have an apartment in the city.  It’s close to where you will be.  I just can’t stay here at night any longer.”

 

The shock and panic on his face made Sam cringe.

 

“Please understand, Daniel.  It’s not you.  The doctors and I feel you would do better without me as a distraction.  I’m not leaving you, just giving you some space.  Like it was before, in Oregon, remember?  You stayed at the home and I came everyday to see you.”

 

His breathing became erratic and he started rocking back and forth hugging himself as he always did when he was upset.  When Sam reached out to touch him, he jumped up and ran away from her.  She went after him as he tore into the room that they had been sharing at night.  Looking around, Daniel saw that all of her things were gone.

 

“Nooooo!  Noooo!” he cried.

 

Sam touched his back gently, “I’ll be here with you during the day…”

 

He didn’t hear her.  Right at that moment, Jack opened the door to come in, and was flung out of the way as Daniel seized the opportunity to bolt.  Running pell-mell and barefoot through the corridors of the SGC, personal scattered to get out of the archeologist’s way.

 

“Damn it!  Stop him; don’t just get out of the way!” O’Neill yelled as he raced after the fleeing man.

 

When Jack rounded a corner, he stopped abruptly.  Daniel was nowhere in sight.  Quietly the General walked down the hall, listening for any indication as to the whereabouts of the fugitive.  He spotted a storeroom door slightly ajar.

 

Oh, great! Jack thought, The same storeroom he hid in when he was high on sarcophagus effects.  At least he doesn’t have a gun this time.

 

Cautiously, O’Neill pushed open the door.  He heard what sounded like a jar braking.  “Daniel?”

 

Pausing, Jack could hear sobs coming from the back corner of the room.  He slowly inched his way towards the sound.  When he finally saw Daniel, he was curled in the fetal position and quietly crying.  Jack went and sat down beside him.  Rubbing his back soothingly, O’Neill noticed that Daniel had cut his arm several times with a piece of broken glass.

 

“Aww, Danny,” Jack sighed, “what’d you go and do that for?”

 

Daniel turned his swollen, red eyes to the man that was beside him.  “Sam, ggg…ooo,” he stammered.  “Wwww… wwwhy?? Mmmm… bbbbbaad?”

 

Jack reached over and pulled Daniel up into a sitting position. Taking the broken glass away, and then stripping off his BDU shirt, he wrapped it around the bloody arm of his friend.

 

“You’re not bad, Danny. Sam isn’t going to go away for good. She just needs more rest and time to herself. You will see her every day. And you have Mitchell and me and even Teal’c when he’s around. You’re not going to be alone, Daniel. I promise you that.”

 

Shaking his head, Daniel whimpered, “Sam… mmmm… mmmine?”

 

Jack chuckled, “Yeah, Danny Boy.  Sam is yours.  Heart and soul.  She always will be.”  With a twinge of regret, he quietly added, “She loves you, Daniel.”

 

The younger man relaxed and allowed himself to be pulled up by Jack and led out of the storeroom.

 

“Come on, now.  Carter will have my head on a platter if I don’t get you to the infirmary.  Why’d you go and cut yourself?”

 

Daniel glanced at Jack and shrugged.

 

“It just never ends for you, does it?” O’Neill sighed.

 

***

 

In the infirmary, Daniel sat quietly as the nurse bandaged his arm.  She smiled sweetly at him as he continuously rocked back and forth.

 

“Would you like to listen to some music, Dr. Jackson?” she asked.

 

Cocking his head and scrunching his eyebrows together, he shrugged.  The young woman pulled an IPod from her pocket and fiddled with the controls.

“I always found music to be the most soothing thing in the universe.  Here…” she placed the buds in his ears and turned it on.

 

Daniel started at first when the music began, but then he relaxed and closed his eyes.  His rocking soon changed to swaying with the melody.  When the song ended, he tapped the nurse and held the IPod out to her.

 

“Do you want to hear more?”

 

Concentrating, Daniel quietly said, “’gain?”

 

She smiled and pushed the back button to start the song over.  “Do you like that song, Dr. Jackson?”

 

Nodding enthusiastically, he grinned.

 

“Tell you what.  When I finish with your arm, I’ll run in and burn you a CD of this song, so you can listen to it any time you want.”

 

Again, he smiled at her, nodding his thanks.

 

When Jack came back to take Daniel to his room, the nurse stopped them, handing the CD to her patient.  With a shy smile, Daniel gave the surprised nurse a quick hug.

 

Eyebrows rose almost to his receding hairline, O’Neill smirked, “You dog.”

 

***

 

It was just after dinner when Sam entered Daniel’s room.  She had been trying to prepare herself for the moment when she would be telling him goodnight and then leave.  She was not prepared for the sight she walked in on.

 

Daniel had placed candles all around the room.  Incense was burning on the nightstand and soft music was playing.  The whole place was neat, clean, and very romantic.

 

When he heard the door close, Daniel came in from the other room.  He was smiling at her.  She didn’t know what to think.

 

“Daniel?”

 

The archeologist slowly walked over to the astrophysicist and put his strong arms around her.  With a gentle smile, he murmured, “Sam.”

 

Still confused with the whole environment, she pulled away from him.

 

“Daniel, I came to say goodnight and that I’d see you in the morning.”

 

“Know,” he said quietly nodding his head.

 

Sam watched him, looking for some indication of what was going on inside his head.  Her eyes moved down to his bandaged arm.  Jack had told her what Daniel had done to himself.  He also suggested for her to stay away the rest of the day, just to give him time to process this new arrangement.  She reached over and ran her hand gently over his wounded arm.

 

“Oh, Daniel,” she whispered.

 

Dropping his head, ashamed of his actions, he stammered, “Bbbbbad.”

 

Sam wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her head on his chest.  She had been hoping for a quick get-a-way, but it seemed now, that was not going to happen.  Feeling Daniel gently sway her to the music, Sam felt her resolve starting to slip.

 

Freeing herself from his grasp, she backed away towards the door.  “I have to leave now, Daniel.  I will see you in the morning, okay?”

 

Daniel grabbed her wrist and held up a finger, indicating for her to wait.  He stepped over to the CD player, cued the song he wanted, turned up the sound, and then pushed play.  Turning back to Sam, he took her in his arms.  When the music started, he began to slowly dance with her.

 

Lowering his head, he whispered in her ear, “fffeel… you.”

 

Your love is better than ice cream

Better than anything else that I've tried

And your love is better than ice cream

Everyone here know how to fight

 

And it's a long way down

It’s a long way down

It’s a long way down to the place

Where we started from

 

Your love is better than chocolate

Better than anything else that I've tried

Oh love is better than chocolate

Everyone here knows how to cry

 

It’s a long way down

It’s a long way down

It’s a long way down to the place

Where we started from...

 

As Sam listened to the words and moved with Daniel to the music, she felt the familiar warmth coursing through her.  She missed the intimacy that they had shared.  Missed the closeness they had, his strength and the calming presence that use to be a natural part of being with Daniel.  Now, every time she let her defenses down, she would worry that something would happen to make him flip out.

 

When the song ended, she turned a tear wet face to the man with whom she loved more than anything.

 

Daniel leaned down and kissed her.  It was the very first time that he initiated that kind of contact.  And then he even went further and deepened the kiss.  It was passionate, and filled with meaning.  One more night here, couldn’t hurt.

 

As the song started again, Daniel picked Sam up and carried her to the bed.  Slowly Daniel ran his hands down the front of her blouse, unbuttoning each button as he came to it.  Their kiss became more fervent with each passing moment.  Next, his hand pulled her undershirt from the confines of her pants.  Once he had enough room to move his hand inside, Daniel’s fingers traveled up to Sam’s breast.  Softly he rubbed and kneaded them.

 

Sam let a moan escape into his mouth as her lover continued his quest.  She needed to feel more of him now.  Pulling on his t-shirt, she had it over his head and off in an instant.  Running her hands up and down his firmly muscled back, she arched against him.  Daniel broke away from Sam’s lips to remove her clothing.  Soon both of her shirts were on the floor and her bra joined them quickly.

 

Daniel began to blaze a trail down her neck to the soft mounds he had been fondling.  As his lips closed over her nipple she bucked against him.  Sam needed more, and she needed it now.  She moved her hands down and started pushing his sweatpants over his butt.  Rising just a little to let her get them off, Daniel set to work on undoing her belt.  In no time at all they were naked.

 

Daniel moved to nestle between her legs as he again claimed Sam’s mouth in a devouring kiss.  She could feel the pressure of his erection.  She was more than ready for him to be inside her.  Sam wasn’t sure just how far Daniel was willing to take this, but felt a little encouragement would not go unwarranted, she softly whispered in his ear, “Daniel, make love to me.”

 

That was all it took.  He let his instincts guide him.  It had been just over four months since they had last made love and he slid inside just as gently as she remembered.  It was the most glorious feeling in the world.  Their movements were as one with the music and the beat of their hearts.  Slow and wonderful, they consumed each other.  This wasn’t the kind of frantic love that had sometimes ruled them, this was explorative and earnest.  Fresh, new… but also demanding.

 

Soaring to the heights of ecstasy, both took each other over the edge at the same time with a shudder.  Daniel moaned as he fell beside Sam, totally stated.

 

After a short moment to catch his breath, he began to nuzzle her neck and whisper in her ear.  Feeling at peace and completely loved, it took a while for her to realize that he was speaking without any hesitation.  She did not know what he was saying; the words were foreign to her.  Not wanting to interrupt the beautiful sound, Sam closed her eyes and listened to his voice.  Then it hit her.  He was singing with song he had playing over and over.

 

Quietly she asked, “Daniel, are you singing the words to the song?”

 

“Ah huh.”

 

“What language this time?” she looked into his bright sapphire eyes.

 

“A… A, Aby…” he squeezed his eyes closed in concentration. “A, a…”

 

“Abydonian?” Sam took pity on him, seeing how frustrated he was getting.  She didn’t want this good feeling to be interrupted.

 

He smiled and nodded.  Sam closed her eyes again and fell into this perfect moment.  She wanted to infuse feeling into every cell of her body.  Nothing else mattered.  Nothing else existed.

 

Just she and Daniel…

 

Suddenly, he stopped singing.  He was so still Sam thought he had fallen asleep.  Then with a rush of movement, he was sitting up looking at her with surprise.  Then Daniel grinned and placed his head on her stomach.  Sam was confused.  She ran her fingers through his hair, soothingly.

 

“Daniel?  What’s wrong…?”

 

Then she felt it.  Inside her, the life that they had created four months earlier, was moving.  It was the most phenomenal sensation she ever had.  Daniel lifted his head and stared at her.  With tears in the eyes that could not get any bluer, he smiled a radiant smile.

 

“Mmm… mmmi… Nnnoo,” he was getting aggravated again, so he pointed to Sam, then himself, and then to her belly.

 

“Yes, our baby,” she answered and pulled him into a tight hug.  Resting her head on Daniel’s shoulder and with a contented sigh, Sam fell asleep at peace with the world.

 

 

Ice Cream

Written by Sarah McLachlan

To be continued...