***

 

Jack thought that he would have to search for his distraught linguist, but found him in the first place he looked.  Daniel was in his office, sitting with his head down, and tracing patters in the sand of a Chinese rock garden with is finger.  Jack sat down beside him, shoulder to shoulder.

 

“I sssorry, J, Jack,” he mumbled, “hhhhitting you.  Cccausing… pr, pr, pr-blems…”

 

He watched Daniel make designs in the sand.  They resembled hieroglyphics.  Side by side they sat in silence.  O’Neill was trying to figure out what to say to his friend.  Psycho-babble was not his forte.

 

“That was a good thing you said, Danny.  I know Sam appreciated it.  And that it was real hard for you to do.”

 

Daniel grunted his reply, “No… mmmmatter.  Hhhhhatesss mmme.”

 

“No, Daniel,” Jack soothed, “she doesn’t hate you.  Not really.  She’s just hurting real bad right now.  Like you are.”

 

Jack looked at Daniel.  His face was twisted in anguish and remorse.

 

“I ggggo way. Go, cccenter.  No look Sam,” tears leaked from his eyes as he said softly, “bbb-est.”

 

Jack couldn’t disagree.  He knew having Daniel at The Air Force Academy Mental and Behavioral Center was the best way to defuse some of the situation.  Having him off base to get the help he needed had to happen soon.

 

Even with Oma and Shifu’s assurances that the violence in his friend would not be as bad, everything that Jack had read about his condition said that there could still be episodes.  And Daniel’s self-loathing would just escalate into hurting himself.

 

The General watched him for a moment longer, then clapped him on the shoulder.

 

“I’ll light a fire under the necessary ass’ to get The Center open for you.  I promise.”

 

Daniel nodded, “’Kay, Jjjack.”

 

 

***

 

 

It was going to be three weeks before they would be able to move Daniel to The AFA M&D Center.  When Jack was invited to check it out, he jumped at the opportunity.  The Air Force Academy was a beautiful campus and any reason for the General to go there was a pleasure.

 

The moment O’Neill pulled up to the center, he grinned.  This just might be the place.  It was a modern facility with no hint of hospital about it.  There were lots of trees and a commanding view of the mountains.  As he approached the front door, a casually dressed young man came out and greeted Jack with a winning smile.

 

“General O’Neill!” his voice was deep and warm, “Welcome to The Center.  Dr. Jordan Cruz, and I’m pleased to meet you.”

 

Thrusting his hand out to Jack, he took the General’s in a tight, confident grasp.  Jack liked him immediately.

 

“Dr. Cruz…”

 

“Jordan, please,” the young man interrupted.

 

Smiling, O’Neill nodded, “Jordan.  Jack.  This is impressive considering the short amount of time for it to be built,” he said waving his hand around.

 

“Thanks.  We’ve tried real hard to make this place a home and not have the mental asylum vibe to it.  I find it much more conducive to getting our residents back on their feet.”

 

O’Neill chuckled also, then grew serious.  He had a list of questions, and now was as go a time as any.

 

“So, how many people are going to be living here?”

 

Jordan laughed again, “Let’s go inside, Jack, and you can hit me with all the questions you have.”

 

“Sounds good.”

 

The General followed the young man in.  Jack was just as impressed with inside as Jordan gave him a brief tour.  Comfortable and accepting.  There were plenty of windows letting in the sun and scenery.  It smelled new, but not sterile like a hospital.  Jack could saw some of the meeting rooms which were kind of small and filled with comfortable chairs and a few large beanbags to sit on.  The common room was furnished with a large screen TV, couches, armchairs and had a great view of the famous Air Force Academy Chapel building.  There was also a workout room and in the lower level was pool.

 

Jordan led him to an office at the back, overlooking a large fenced in yard.  As Jack scanned the room, he knew that Daniel would have a field day in here, just checking out all the books.  The shelves reached floor to ceiling and there was not one open space to be seen.  A large, over stuffed leather armchair sat in a corner with a reading lamp and small table next to it.

 

Jordan sat in front of a large solid oak desk and indicated Jack to sit next to him.

 

“I don’t like sitting behind the desk when clients come in.  It seems so… cold.  Like I’m telling you that I’m better then you somehow.”

 

O’Neill knew that he was going to get along this guy tremendously.  He was honest and open.

 

“So… Jack.  Why don’t you hit me with that list of questions I know you have.”

 

Jack smiled and nodded, “Okay.  You don’t really seem like the head-shrinking type.  How did you manage to wrangle this gig?”

 

Laughing, Jordan said, “I’ve always been interested in what makes people, particularly soldiers, tick.  The overwhelming need for qualified psychiatrist to help our returning men and women spurred me to specialize in PTSD.  When I heard about this place opening, I jumped at the chance to be a part of it.  My methods are a little unconventional, but the powers that be seemed to think I was perfect for what they needed.”

 

O’Neill considered what he was told for a moment and then fixed Jordan with an official stare.  “The thing is, Daniel needs a doctor that has a pretty high level security clearance.  Even though he is a civilian, his former job was in a strictly need to know outfit.  I know that you may have a small amount of information about our program, but do you have any doctors here with the necessary clearance?”

 

“Ah,” Jordan nodded, as he stood to walk behind his desk.  Rummaging around in it for a moment, he smiled once he found what he was looking for.  Sitting back down opposite Jack he tossed a small badge over to the general.  Jack looked at it with shock.

 

“This is pretty high level,” he said eyeing the man more carefully.

 

“Lt. Commander Jordan Cruz, United States Navy, semi-retired.”

 

Jack grinned.

 

“I was a psychologist onboard a test sub for six months, hence the level of clearance.  And I’m still attached to the J.A.G. as a consultant.  Will that be good enough for you, sir?” his tone was not nasty, but playful.

 

General O’Neill smiled, “Yeah… it’ll due, Jordan.  Provided that you are the one running Daniel’s sessions.”

 

Jordan answered in the affirmative, “I will be.  And I will monitor all his therapy sessions also.  So, what else can I answer for you?”

 

“I know this place hasn’t opened yet, but I’m sure there’s a waiting list for patients, how many will be here?”

 

“First, the clients will be referred to as residents.  Not so much stigma around that word.  Right now only three will be here to start out.  By the end of the year, we’ll have around 50. Currently I have a staff of six that live on site, including myself.  There’s also four other employees that won’t live here, but come and go as needed.  We’ll also have some students from the Academy working here for credit, but they won’t be involved with individual sessions.”

 

“Can you let me know about the other residents?”

 

For the first time, Jordan’s face went from open and friendly to very professional.  “Now, Jack, I can’t break patient/doctor confidentiality.  You know that.”

 

“Yes, I’m sorry.  I just meant are the others all veterans or active duty?  Will there be any civilians like Daniel?”

 

“One is, yes.  Two are vets coming home from Iraq and one from Afghanistan.  We will monitor them closely for any aggressive tendencies and watch very closely for suicidal signs.  And Daniel won’t be the only one with Broca’s Aphasia.”

 

“So you are aware, Daniel, has been having bouts of violence and anger management problems.  Most of the time he will take it out on himself by cutting or scratching, but sometime… well it… it gets out’a hand.”

 

Jordon nodded, “That’s not unusual for Broca’s Aphasia.  We will have a security camera in his room to make sure he doesn’t hurt himself.  And one of our staff is a specialist in dealing with all aspects of Aphasia

 

“We’ll start him on some meds that will help even out his moods.  Nothing to powerful,” Jordon said quickly seeing O’Neill’s look of protest.  “I don’t like doping my residents.”

 

Jack thought for a moment, then nodded, “Okay.  So when can I bring him here?”

 

“This weekend if that’s good with you.  The others will be here tomorrow and I like to have a little time in between so we can get them acclimated to their new surroundings.  And I’ll need all of Daniel’s medical files.  Not just the ones from his recent accident, but all of them… childhood on up.  I know about the Stargate and some of the crazy shit you guys get into up on the mountain, so I’ll need to know about any alien stuff too.”

 

“I’ll make sure Dr. Lam gets it all together for me and send it over right away.  Um, will Dr. MacKenzie be involved with his treatment in any way?”

 

“Dr. James MacKenzie?” Jordon asked with a slight smile.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“No… he will not.  MacKenzie is a good doctor, but… well, let’s just say, he’s a bit too old school for me.  He may come and go from time to time, but only in an advisory capacity.”

 

“Good,” Jack said as he stood up.  “That guy just sets my teeth on edge.  So, Saturday?”

 

Laughing, Jordon also stood and took O’Neill’s extended hand, “You and me both, Jack!  And Saturday afternoon will be fine.  I can’t wait to meet Daniel.”

 

As Jack left the campus grounds, his mind was more at ease than it had been for the last several weeks.

 

The rest of the day, Jack spent gathering medical and psychological reports on

Daniel to send to Jordan.  He felt very confident this was the first step in getting

his family back together.  He took all the information that Jordan had given him

home that afternoon to read and the forms to fill out on Daniel’s behalf.  Most of

info was the usual military PR, but after talking and seeing The Center, he was

sure things were going to work out.  Then again, he had thought just bringing

Carter and Daniel home was going to work out.  All he had left was hope.  A

hope he’d get his friend back. A hope that Sam would heal.

 

 

***

 

 

Daniel had retreated back into his shell the last three weeks.  He spoke to no one, wouldn’t look at anyone, barely ate and was usually found curled up in a corner rocking.  His speech therapy went nowhere and his occupational therapy didn’t even come close to how well he had been doing.  Dr. MacKenzie informed O’Neill that he was regressing at an alarming rate.  After his apology to Sam, he didn’t see her again.

 

Jack asked, then told, then finally ordered Sam to go and stay with her brother for a few weeks.  He surmised that the distance between she and Daniel would only grow if they were in the same place.  This way, with Sam in San Diego and Daniel moving into his new home, maybe their souls would begin to mend.

 

Friday evening he and Daniel went to dinner in the cafeteria.  Jack wanted to tell him again all about the Center where he’d be moved to the next day.  After they sat and ate in silence for awhile, O’Neill reached out and pulled Daniel’s head up to have him looking at the older man.

 

“Daniel, you understand that this is the best thing for you, right?  You’re going to love it there.  It’s a nice place,” Jack’s tone was soft.

 

Daniel looked at first as if he was going to bolt.  His eyes went wild and he started to chew his lip, rocking in his chair.

 

“Danny,” Jack spoke again, this time a little more stern, “we talked about this, remember?  You said yourself that you thought it would be a good idea.”

 

Lowering his gaze to the table, Daniel nodded his acceptance, “W…  wwwhen?”

 

With a small smile, O’Neill patted his friend on the shoulder, “Tomorrow afternoon.  And… I just found out that your speech therapist, Brooke, she’s gonna be there.  She’ll still be working with you.”

 

Daniel was surprised.  He really liked Brooke, and that kind of made things a little better.  Still, he had secretly hoped he’d be able to see Sam again.  Maybe try to talk to her.

 

“Sam?” he asked quietly.

 

Jack sighed.  He hadn’t told him that Sam wasn’t even in Colorado.  MacKenzie thought it would push Daniel even further into his shell.

 

“Um… Daniel, I told Sam to go and visit her brother for awhile.  She’s in San Diego,” he said, then waited for his friend to fly into a rage.

 

Daniel only nodded and continued picking at his food.  Shocked, Jack watched him for a time, thinking it was going to be a slow motion explosion.  But nothing happened.  Maybe Shifu and Oma really did take all the fight out of him.

 

Then he remembered what Sam had told him happened the morning she and Daniel were coming back to the mountain.  He made a mental note to make sure Dr. Lam would be on hand with some sedatives, just in case Daniel freaked out.

 

 

***

 

 

For three weeks, Samantha Carter threw herself into being an aunt.  She doted on her brother’s kids, spoiling them unremittingly.  She was doing exactly what Jack figured she would.  Burying her pain.  But Sam felt it was actually the best therapy for her.  When she arrived at her brother’s, all she wanted to do was forget, and her niece and nephew was just the distraction she needed.

 

Sam did go to a grief counselor every day, as that was part of her orders from O’Neill, but she would only talk of how losing the baby was making her feel.  Never about how she lost her unborn child or who caused the fatality.  The counselor knew progress for her was becoming stagnant and decided to venture into the little touched subject of Daniel.  On that day, Sam clammed up tight and wouldn’t give an inch.

 

After that session, Sam was in a foul mood and instead of going back to the house, she went to a park.  She couldn’t face the kids feeling the way she was.  Sitting on a swing, she began to examine her real feelings about Daniel and what had happened.

 

Did she still love Daniel?  Yes.  Did she still want a life with him?  She wasn’t sure yet.  Did she still want to beat the shit out of him?  Sometimes.  But she wasn’t sure why.  If it was for what happened the day she lost the baby, or was it for getting shot in that alley in the first place?  And was she being fair to him or herself?

 

Softly crying Sam was startled when a hand rested on her shoulder.

 

“Sam?” a very familiar voice came from behind her.

 

Turning, Sam’s face lit up, “Pete!”  She was off the swing and hugging Pete fiercely.

 

“Whoa there,” he laughed, “take it easy!  It’s not really smiled on if you strangle a cop.”

 

She let go, backed up and wiping her face off as she beamed at him.  Sam managed to choked out, “It’s so good to see you!”

 

“You too.  But… what’s wrong?  Why are you here and more importantly, why are you crying?”

 

Taking his hand, they walked to a park bench and sat down.  Sam was quiet for a long time.  She really didn’t know where to begin.

 

“Sam?” Pete gently turned her face towards him.  “What is it?”

 

Trying to keep her emotions at bay, she sighed heavily, “It’s a long story, Pete.”

 

Grinning at her, he said, “Well, I’m off duty and there’s a coffee shop just around the corner.”

 

When she realized he wasn’t going to let her get away with not talking to him, she nodded.  Pete took her hand and guided her to the coffee shop.  After ordering their drinks they found a quiet corner by a fireplace.

 

“So,” Pete said, “what has happened to make my…” he paused, “make you so unhappy?”

 

Sam noticed that he was about to say, my girl, then stopped.  She smiled inwardly, then the weight of everything that had happened over the last few weeks came down with a crash.  Tears leaked from her eyes as she took a steadying breath.

 

“About six months ago, I started seeing someone…” she paused, not sure if she should tell him who.

 

“That’s great!” he really sounded pleased and it cut through her like a knife.  Seeing that she wasn’t happy about it, he added, “That’s not great?”

 

She sniffed, took a drink of coffee and tried again, “It started out wonderfully!  He was so sweet and gentle, like nothing I had ever expected.  But… one night, after we were at the movies, we were walking back to the car and he heard someone that needed help.  In the process, he got shot.”

 

“Oh, Sam!” Pete whispered and wrapped his arms around her, “I’m so sorry.”

 

“He didn’t die,” she told him into his shoulder.

 

“No?”

 

“He was in a coma for two months.  Now he’s awake, but he is not the same man.  Because of the lack of oxygen to his brain, he developed several… behavioral issues.  And he tends to get violent.”

 

“Has he hit you?” Pete tried to keep the hint of anger out of his voice, but Sam did notice it.

 

“Not intentionally,” she placed her hand on his to calm him down.  “While he was in a coma, I found out that I was pregnant.”

 

Pete lifted an eyebrow, “Great?”

 

“It was.”

 

“Was?”

 

Sam let out a sob and leaned into Pete’s arms.  “One morning… he lost control and attacked General O’Neill.  I went to try and calm him down.  He really didn’t know what he was doing— he was in such a rage…”

 

Then it dawned on Pete.  He pulled back and looked into Sam’s eyes, “He hit you and you miscarried… right?”

 

She nodded and sobbed again.

 

“Bastard!” he said through clenched teeth.  “I bet ol’ Jack wanted to kill him, huh?”

 

She shook her head no.

 

“No?”  Then realization hit him, “Daniel?  You’re talking about… Daniel Jackson?  No way!”

 

Sam shook all over with emotion.  This was the first time she actually talked about that morning aloud.  Pete held her tight until she relaxed.

 

“Oh, Sam.  I wish there was something I could do or say to make the pain go.  I’m so sorry this happened to you.”  He sat back and took her face in his hands, “If you need a shoulder to cry on… anytime.”

 

She smiled warmly at him, “Thanks, Pete.  That means a lot to me.  Right now, I just have to figure out what I’m going to do.  What I’m feeling towards Daniel.  It’s all just so confusing.”

 

“Do you still love him?” he asked.

 

She was quiet for a very long time.  Pete caressed her cheek and brought her face up to meet his.  With a gentle kiss on her lips he whispered, “I still love you, Samantha Carter.  But I think that you are very much in love with Daniel.”

 

For the first time in weeks, Sam’s heart broke the barriers down and screamed into her soul, YES.

 

Looking Pete in the eyes, she nodded, “Yes, I do still love him.  But I’m not sure if I could still be a part of his life.”

 

Just then, Pete did something that was totally unexpected.  Pulling away, he fixed her with a hard glare.

 

“I never took you for being unsympathetic.  Determined, unwavering, in command of your own destiny…  but never so focused on yourself that you would abandon the one you loved.”

 

Sam was taken aback.  Almost angry.  How dare he!  What the hell did he know about the whole situation?  What she’s gone through.  The waiting for Daniel to wake up.  The days of having to feed him, dress him, clean him up.

 

Then the weeks of watching as his once brilliant mind spun out of control, plummeting the soft spoken, compassionate man into a raging time bomb.  The glimmer of hope that would flare up every so often, having her believe Daniel was coming back around, only to have him crash and burn again and again.

 

This was worse than all the times she thought he was dead.  Because he wasn’t dead this time, and yet, he kind of was.  The Daniel she fell in love with, the one she had known for ten plus years, was truly gone and most likely never to return.

 

How dare Pete tell her she was thinking only of herself?  She was a realist.  Daniel was gone.  And with him, her baby…

 

As Sam considered his hard words, a realization dawned on her.  If Daniel wasn’t really the same person she was in love with… then this Daniel, the one here and now, he caused the baby’s death.  Not her Daniel.  And her Daniel, maybe, just maybe, could still be reached.

 

As all of this flooded into Sam’s mind, the song that was playing over the speakers filtered into her thoughts.

And I don’t want the world to see me
´Cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When everything’s made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
 

She remembered the carefully written note that Daniel had given to her the day after she lost the baby.  He was trying to tell her that he was in there somewhere and he needed her to help him find his way.

 

Crying softly, she buried her head in her hands.

 

“You’re right.  I am selfish,” she sobbed, “and I really do love him.”

 

“Then why are you here?” Pete asked her gently, “He’s going to need you.  It was his baby too, you know.  If Daniel understands that he caused the miscarriage, he’ll be hurting just as much as you are.  Maybe more because he really didn’t know what he was doing.”

 

Sam stared at Pete amazed.  She really hadn’t thought about the fact that Daniel, in his current state of turmoil, would be just as wounded she was.

 

“Pete, you are wonderful.  I’m so sorry that I hurt you,” she cried.

 

“Hey.  It’s okay.  I’m okay.  I’m seeing someone too.  And it’s working out nicely.”

 

Smiling, Sam kissed him, “That’s great.  I’m happy for you.”

 

Exchanging address’, they parted ways with the promise to stay in touch.  Even though it had only been three weeks, she decided that it was time to go back.  Going back to work would be the best thing to do.  She needed the distraction of missions and inventions.  It was how she got through the death of her father, Janet and the times that Daniel was gone.

 

Thinking of Daniel, she paused… was she really ready for that?  Dealing with him again?  Sam knew that Jack was going to get the Center to pick up the pace so Daniel could move in.  He wouldn’t be around the base and that would still give her time to work out her feelings.  She also decided that she would continue with therapy, no matter how much she hated it.

 

Yes, it was time for her to go home.  Time for her to man-up and deal with everything that has happened.

 

 

***

 

 

When morning came, Jack O’Neill was prepared for the worst.  When he entered Daniel’s room, he thoroughly expected him to be in full rampage.  Instead, he was sitting on his bed, his duffle bag packed.  The only thing that hinted to his unease was his leg shaking, and he was biting his lip.  With an unbelieving smile, Jack sat down next to his friend.

 

“Who are you and what have you done with Daniel Jackson?” he joked.

 

When he didn’t respond, Jack sighed.  “You’re all ready, huh?”

 

Daniel gave him a small nod.

 

O’Neill threw his arm over the archeologist’s shoulders, “Everything will be all right, Danny.  I promise.”

 

Another small nod accompanied with rocking back and forth.

 

When Jack moved to stand, Daniel grabbed his arm and held it tight.  Looking into his sad blue eyes, the older man’s heart went out to him.

 

“Sam?” Daniel asked in the tiniest of voices.

 

“Ah, Daniel, I’m Jack… remember?” he teased.

 

Daniel glared at him just like he use to.  Jack had to smile.

 

“I will make sure Sam knows where you are.  When she’s ready, and you are ready, I’ll bring her to see you.  Okay?”

 

Daniel gave him a small grin.

 

“Come on, it’s time to go.”

 

Jack pulled him up from the bed and led him out of his room.

 

 

***

 

 

The drive to The AFA M&D Center was quiet.  Jack kept an eye on Daniel as he drove, aware that he was light years away, just staring out the window, gnawing on his lip.  Any time O’Neill tried to get him to talk, he was only answered with grunts or nods.

 

As they got closer to their destination, Daniel grew more agitated.  Digging his fingernails into his arm and shaking uncontrollably.

 

“Hey, hey, Danny, it’s okay.  You’ll be fine,” Jack told him, pulling Daniel’s hand away from his arm.

 

Daniel managed a slight smile, then went back to looking out the window.  He felt like he was eight years old again, being taken to a new foster home.  Image after image flashed through his head.  Each new home, names of the people that owned them, names of some of the other kids. But what bothered him the most was he only remembered the places where he was abused.

 

A shudder shook him violently and made Jack reach over to the younger man.

 

“Hey!” O’Neill said, “what was that?”

 

Daniel just shrugged.  He wasn’t about to tell him the memories.  He didn’t want to be remembering them.  And if he spoke of them out loud, they would become even more real.

 

When the truck pulled up in front of the new building, Daniel eyed it suspiciously.  Jack got out and greeted Jordan as he came down the front steps.  They talked for a moment, when Jack realized Daniel hadn’t gotten out of the truck yet.  Looking back at Jordan, he sighed.

 

“Let me go and talk with him, Jack,” the doctor said kindly.

 

Walking over to the vehicle, Jordan opened the passenger side door and smiled warmly at the occupant.

 

“Hello, Daniel,” he said quietly and held out his hand.  “I’m Dr. Cruz.  But you can call me Jordan.”

 

Daniel wouldn’t look at him, but he did shake his hand.

 

“Welcome to The Center.  Would you like to come and look around?”

 

The archeologist glanced up briefly, then shrugged.  He slid out of the truck, clutching his duffle bag like a security blanket.  Jordan grinned at him, and gently guided Daniel towards the front door.  As they approached, Jack fell into step behind them.

 

“I think you will like it here, Daniel.” Jordan told him, “or is it Danny?”

 

With an emphatic shake of his head, Daniel made his wishes known.

 

“Okay!” the doctor laughed.  “Guess that’s a name for only a special few, huh?”

 

Glancing at Jordan from the corner of his eye, he smiled sheepishly.

 

When they stepped inside, Daniel looked around surreptitiously.  He took in the warm and comfortable vibe that seemed to fill the place.  It wasn’t like any foster home he had been in.  Jordan led them to his office where he and Jack had first spoke.  When the three men entered, Jack watched Daniel, knowing his eyes would get big and he’d start to drool at all the books.  Sure enough, the archeologist was almost quivering as he slowly took in the shelves of old and very old books.

 

Jordan smiled, “You can check them out, if you want to, Daniel.  Jack and I have some paperwork to go over.  Sit down in the reading chair and enjoy yourself.”

 

Dropping his bag by the overstuffed armchair, Daniel turned to peruse the shelves.  O’Neill chuckled at his friend.  Jordan invited Jack to sit down as the doctor pulled a fat file folder off his disk.

 

Quietly Dr. Cruz said, “Jack, the files you sent over indicated that Daniel had been in foster care for some time as a child.  Has he ever received counseling for that?”

 

With a puzzled expression, he shrugged his shoulders, “I’m not sure.  We never really talked about it.  I know what happened, but Daniel is very… he plays his past close to the chest.  I only found out how his parents died because of a mission some years back.”

 

Nodding, Jordan watched as the subject of their discussion sat with a book, thoroughly engrossed.

 

“I may have to touch on his parent’s death and subsequent foster care in his sessions, Jack.  With everything that has happened to him, I’m really quite surprise he hasn’t totally flaked out.”

 

Lifting an eyebrow at him, O’Neill commented, “Flaked out?  Is that a medical term?”

 

Smiling, the doctor continued, “It’s one of my medical terms.  Anyway, I will do everything I can to help Daniel.  I know you would like it if he could go back to work with you, but… I can’t in good conscience guarantee that.  Some people dealing with this sort of trauma never make it back to who they were.  What we try and do is to help them with who they are now.”

 

“I understand.  I just want… well, the soft-spoken Daniel back.  So does his…” Jack paused.  He wasn’t sure what Sam was to Daniel.  He knew that they had talked about marriage, but to his understanding, Daniel never officially asked her. “His girlfriend would like that part of him back as well.”

 

Jordan looked at him confused, “Girlfriend?  Why isn’t she here to help him move in?”

 

“Long story.  It’s in the file.”

 

“Ah… the file is big, I haven’t gotten to that part,” he admitted.  “Welp, I think all is in order.  Unless you have any questions.”

 

“Nope,” Jack replied.

 

Both men stood up and went over to where Daniel sat with his nose in a book.

 

“Want to check out the grounds, Daniel?”

 

It took a moment, but he finally raised his head to look at them.  With a sad and reluctant smile, Daniel stood up and went to put the book back where he found it.  Jordan halted him with a hand on his arm.

 

“You can take it with you, Daniel.  When you’re done, bring it back.  Okay?”

 

That earned the man a real Daniel Jackson smile.  Jack hadn’t seen one of those in a very long time.

 

Dr. Cruz led the two friends out of the office when they were stopped by someone calling out.

 

“Hey, Jordan!” a young woman came up them carrying a camera in one hand and a book in the other, “are you going to go out anytime soon?  I need printer ink for my pictures.”

 

“Already?  I just got you some.”

 

She grinned at him slyly, “And your point being?”

 

“Kacee,” he said with a smile and shook his head, “I’ll get you some more.  I’ll be going to the BX later today.  Would you like to accompany us on a tour of the grounds?”

 

“Sure.  I’ve got a few minutes to kill.”

 

Daniel had his head down, but was stealing looks at the woman.  She was small, barely coming up to his shoulders, with short, shaggy brown hair and bright grey eyes.  She looked elfish, he thought.

 

Smiling brightly, she nodded at Jack and Daniel, asking Jordan, “Newbies?”

 

“One is, yes.”

 

Unbelievably, her smile got even bigger as her eyes roamed over Daniel.  She noticed him holding the duffle bag and knew he was the one staying.  Kacee stepped around Dr. Cruz and walked over to the shy man with his head down.

 

“I’m Kacee” the young woman stuck her hand out to Daniel.

 

When the archeologist stepped back a pace, her hand dropped.  She watched as he began to chew on his lower lip, his arms wrapping around his duffle, hugging it close.  Kacee smiled at him sweetly.

 

Jordan intervened, “Kacee, this is Daniel Jackson.  He’s moving in today, so try not to scare him.”

 

“Daniel, eh?  Strong silent type, huh?  That’s cool.  It’s nice to meet you.  I hope we can be friends.”

 

Eyes darting to Jack for a moment, he nodded and smiled.

 

“Outstanding!” the small woman said.

 

The four of them wandered around The Center grounds, talking.  Kacee took over the tour and was constantly taking photos.  She made sure Daniel knew where all the best places were to sit and think.  Where to go when he wanted some alone time.

 

When they got back to the common room, she checked her watch and said, “I gotta go.  I have to get to my group,  See ya later Daniel?”

 

When he gave her a small smile and nodded, she grinned at him then strode away.

 

Jordan said, “Kacee has been a few days now.  She thinks she runs the place.  However… Daniel,” he focused on his newest charge, “she would be a good one for you to get to know.  She knows the ins and outs of everything that goes on here.  And she’s really smart, might give you a run for your money.”

 

Daniel shrugged his shoulders, but Jack saw that the younger man was watching her as she left.  He hoped that this woman wouldn’t cause any problems with his archeologist.  He knew that his friend was still very much in love with Sam.  But, Daniel was a guy, and Kacee was very cute… in an impish sort of way.

 

“How old is she?” Jack asked as innocently as he could.

 

“Kacee?  I know she looks about 18, but she’s really 30.  She tells me her secret is that she refuses to grow up.” With a laugh Jordan continued, “I’m beginning to believe her, too.  Outstanding Airmen though.  Had a tough time in Afghanistan.”

 

 

***

 

 

Once Jack had Daniel all settled into his new room, he had his friend sit on the bed.  Pacing in front of him, O’Neill worked out what he wanted to say.  It was hard.  And he wasn’t very good at pep talks.  Still, he knew that Daniel need some encouragement.

 

Stopping and sitting down next to him, Jack asked, “You think you’ll like it here?”

 

Shrug.

 

“Do you like Dr. Cruz?”

 

Shrug.

 

“That Kacee chic seems nice,” he said, then added to himself, a little too nice.

 

Shrug.

 

“Oh, come on, Daniel!” Jack’s tone went from concerned friend to irritated C.O.  “Throw me a bone here.  I’m doing this for you.  You’re in this place because you need to get better.”

 

There was still no reaction to what he was saying.  Time to change tactics.  “Don’t you want to get better so you can be with Sam?”

 

Daniel started rocking, arms wrapped around himself again and Jack could tell he was trying not to cry.  Now he felt like a real bastard.

 

“Danny,” he said quietly, “I think this place will help you.  I really like Jordan and believe he can help.”  When the rocking didn’t stop, Jack placed a hand on his shoulder.  “I’ll come by and see you as often as I can.  Okay?  And when Sam comes back…”

 

Daniel shook his head no.

 

“You don’t want to see her?” Jack asked confused.

 

In barely a whisper he choked out, “Hhhhates… m, mmmeee.”

 

Pulling his friend into a tight hug, Jack replied, “She doesn’t hate you, Daniel.  Sam could never hate you.”  Pulling away, he lifted the younger man’s face to look him in the eye, “No one could ever hate you.”

 

As an afterthought, Jack added, “Well… maybe a few System Lords and probably quite a few Ori… Probably even some Ancients…  But other than them…”

 

Daniel grinned at him, his eyes bright with unshed tears.  Then his smile faded.  “I… sca…  scare, J, Jjjack.”

 

“Scared of what, Danny?”

 

Wiping his face with his hand as the tears escaped, “I, I… nnne…nnnnever… bb… better.”

 

Jack rubbed his back and told him in a firm, but gentle voice, “You have never backed down from anything in your life, Daniel Jackson.  Don’t you even think of backing down from this.  Oma said it would be hard… but she also said it could be done.”

 

Sniffling, he nodded.  “Kkkay, Jjjjj… Jj… Jack.”

 

Daniel walked with Jack to the truck, head hanging low.  The silver haired man gave his friend one last hug before getting into his vehicle.  Before he could even start the engine, Kacee ran out to give him a photo she took when they were touring the place.  It was of he and Daniel just outside The Center.

 

“Thanks,” he said, “look out for him will you?”

 

“Sure,” she answered softly.

 

Leaving Daniel at the Center was one of the hardest things Jack O’Neill had ever done.  Driving away, he glanced into his review mirror.  Jordan and Kacee were waving good bye, but Daniel was just sitting on the steps, head still down, arms wrapped around his knees and rocking.

 

Jack almost lost it.

 

Mentally chiding himself for being soft, he turned his thoughts to the other half of his Tau’ri family.  It was time to get Sam back into the swing of things at the SGC.  Then, he would begin to work on fixing her and Daniel’s relationship.  Someone from the original SG-1 line up, other than Teal’c, deserved a little happiness.  And Jack decided, as C.O., it was his job to make it happen.

 

It was late when he made it home.  His thoughts were swirling in his head as fast as mach 3 and it was beginning to get to him.  He picked up the photo that Kacee had taken of he and Daniel to look at it.  Daniel’s expression was so sad.  Jack tossed the picture on the table.  Good thing he had bought a case of beer on the way home.  He was going to need them.  All in all, it was the loneliest dinner he had had in a long time.

 

Iris
by The Goo Goo Dolls

To be continued...